'You blame yourself', says dating scam victim

Deborah Cole shared her experience with BBC Radio Solent's Katie Martin

A woman who fell victim to an online dating scam has said "you do blame yourself".

Deborah Cole, from Hampshire, gave £700 to a man she believed was an American widow named "James Richards" after he contacted her through the website Match in 2013.

She became suspicious after he asked for a further £10,000 for legal fees before being told she was being scammed by a solicitor the man said he was using.

After an investigation, four men were jailed in 2014 for conning Ms Cole and 11 other women out of nearly £250,000.

Remembering her experience with BBC Radio Solent's Katie Martin as part of the BBC's Scam Safe Week for 2025, she said: "There was always an excuse why they couldn't come and meet you face-to-face, that should have been a red flag."

She added emails had a lot of hearts and should have noticed this was a "bit over the top".

"You're always looking for that love that you maybe had before or were looking for, for the first time," she added.

'Everything was false'

She said she genuinely believed the man after he sent images of his driving licence and passport.

She called it a "very clever" and "professional" set-up where the fraudsters would find ways of asking for the money without saying it directly.

She was curious about the contact number attached to the solicitors' firm on one of the emails.

She said when she found their number and reached out to them they told her that it was "nothing to do with them".

"It was a whirlwind," Ms Cole said, which left her feeling "scared and shocked".

She realised "everything was false" and now advises anyone in a similar position to "just stand back for a minute. I wish I had".

Ms Cole met her now fiancé Ralph online and is now "engaged" and "happy".