'I ran a homeless charity but had nowhere to live'
- Published
A woman who runs a charity supporting rough sleepers says she was "in a worse position than some of my clients" after becoming homeless herself.
Amanda Evans, the founder of Homeless Pembrokeshire, spent two years sleeping on friends' sofas, in her work van and on the office floor after she had to leave her home during the Covid pandemic.
Now the 56-year-old is "over the moon" to have finally bought her own home - a cosy stone cottage in Carmarthen.
She called for more support for vulnerable women, after the conviction of a rapist who brutally attacked a homeless woman in Cardiff.
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Amanda set up her charity in Haverfordwest after discovering that a man she had avoided on the street in another town had later frozen to death.
"I'd gone running that evening and I saw a gentleman in a doorway. Being a woman on my own I was nervous so I crossed the road and carried on running," she said.
"Next day I heard on the radio that he'd died. I was devastated. I thought 'why hadn't I offered him the £1 I'd had in my pocket?'.
"That's what gave me the thought to start up this homeless charity - that some good would have come from this poor man's death."
But just a few years later, she also found herself with no place to go.
'I clung to hope'
After leaving her home with just her handbag, she was soon "managing on the kindness of others".
But the pandemic's lockdowns and restrictions meant support was scarce.
"I was in my 50s and I was really frightened - I was thrown into a life I'd never had before," she said.
"It lasted all through Covid. So you'd ring a service and they might not ring you back for five days.
She said she had been "traumatised" and that "it was extremely hard... but no-one guessed at all".
"You're absolutely worried sick, you want an answer, you don't know what to do.
"I'd ring helplines late at night when I was really upset, two or three o'clock in the morning. I rang the Samaritans at times, when I felt that low. I just clung to hope."
Homeless Pembrokeshire provides emergency rough sleeper packs, which include a tent, sleeping bag, rucksack, mat, pillow, a first aid kit and toiletries.
Despite having access to these supplies, Amanda refused to take from her own charity.
"I didn't take anything," she said. "It's designed for people in the situation I was in - you walk out and you've got nothing at all.
"But I didn't feel I could go to the services for help, being that I was the trustee of a homeless charity myself. I'd be a laughing stock.
"I'd worked hard to build up the charity, I didn't want to lose that.
"I kept it very small, the circle of people that knew. No-one guessed at all."
Keeping her few possessions in carrier bags, Amanda said she put on a brave face - and a bit of lipstick - to "give the world the impression that I wasn't homeless".
"I had to wear the same clothes all the time and hope that no-one noticed," she said.
"I was having to go to meetings and collect donations. I could just about hold it together. If I'd been crying, I'd put on dark glasses."
The stress and hardship soon took its toll on Amanda's health and she ended up in hospital with pneumonia.
For most people, such a health scare would have been disastrous. But for Amanda, the hospital ward provided sanctuary.
"The hospital knew and they sort of pampered me a bit," she said.
"I was just glad of a bed and a bathroom. It was clean. It felt luxury to me."
Eventually, Amanda was offered a flat and slowly started getting back on her feet.
Today, she feels what she has been through has helped her connect with her clients.
"My experience has been invaluable for me because I can be truthful about how it might be," she said.
"I feel more at their level - I've been there myself and that knocks down a barrier."
But it has also made her aware of how much more support is needed - and the vulnerabilities of homeless women.
"I'd walk around and put my hood up. You don't want to be recognised as a woman so you try and cover your face, cover the blonde hair, keep your head down," she said.
"You're not short of friends when you're homeless and it might not be for the right reasons.
"You're vulnerable and you're desperate and you'll grab any help you can."
A stark reminder was the conviction of 24-year-old rapist Liam Stimpson, who was jailed for his "depraved" attack on a homeless woman.
"I was totally shocked to read it," said Amanda. "I'd been following the case and pleased he's been sentenced now.
"I hope the help and the support is out there for this lady. It's not something that she'll ever get over but I hope she learns how to cope."
'This is mine'
As for Amanda, she is focusing on the future and her new home, which she now shares with her beloved dog, eight-year-old jack russell and shih tzu cross, Eric.
"After going through all that I managed to buy a house of my own," she said.
"I found a little cottage and it is all I've ever wanted - wooden beams, log burners, in the countryside.
"The day I moved in I just sat in front of the log burner on the floor - that's all I had - and I was just so happy.
"I touched the walls and thought 'this is mine'. I'm over the moon."