'My 15-year-old daughter was a crime scene'
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Fifteen-year-old Holly Newton was stabbed to death by her ex-boyfriend Logan MacPhail in Hexham, Northumberland, in January 2023. This is the victim impact statement her mother, Micala Trussler, gave to Newcastle Crown Court during her murderer's sentencing.
On Friday, 27 January 2023, our lives changed forever - I kissed my four kids goodbye on their way to school and one never came home.
How can any parent begin to comprehend receiving a phone call from a stranger telling them that their daughter had been stabbed?
Those words still play on repeat through my head.
As we raced to the scene with two of my kids in the car crying, frightened at what was unfolding, I could never have imagined what we would see.
The worst things were running through our heads but I never imagined how horrific the reality of the scene would be.
The absolute trauma on my children's faces as they watched their sister being placed into an ambulance is something that will stay with them for the rest of their lives and the full enormity of the situation cannot be put into words.
I will never be able to erase from my mind that I was stopped from seeing my daughter in that alleyway or ambulance, seeing her eyes open or hearing her last words, her knowing that her mum was by her side.
I couldn't even hug or touch her in hospital, my daughter was a crime scene, she was evidence.
'Typical teenage relationship'
Logan MacPhail was invited into our home most weekends and as such we got to know him really well.
He was Holly’s first and only boyfriend and it was no surprise he would fall for a girl like Holly, she was a caring and thoughtful young lady.
She knew that he couldn't read and would go to the local library to take out baby books to help him learn.
Logan was mild-mannered and polite, as a couple they had a typical teenage relationship that outwardly showed no red flags until the end.
They had their ups and downs but did have good times together, I have videos and pictures on my phone of them dancing together in my living room, they look so happy together.
No-one could have ever predicted that Logan was capable of doing what he has done.
'Emotional blackmail
As they got older it was apparent that Holly was more mature than Logan and they were growing apart.
I had no idea of the emotional turmoil that Holly was going through trying to end the relationship.
For me this is a classic case of domestic abuse, the law states that I am not allowed to call it that because of Holly's age but I firmly believe that Logan thought if he couldn't have Holly then no-one could, he was obsessed with her.
Holly told me that Logan had accessed her social media accounts and somehow knew her passwords, she had told him to stop but he convinced her that he had software that meant he could hack into the accounts.
He used threats of self-harm as emotional blackmail; Holly had wanted to end the relationship earlier but was scared to because of the consequences.
Logan stalked my daughter, creeping around my house at night sending photographs to my son. We will never know if he had the knife on him at that point but listening to him trying to manipulate my son into opening the door or window is terrifying.
'Blissfully unaware'
On 27 January, he left his house and later school with a knife, he travelled a substantial distance on public transport amongst families and other children with a knife in his pocket.
Watching the CCTV as he arrived in Hexham and put on the face covering and taking a route along back streets shows me that he knew exactly what he was doing, his sole focus was to find Holly.
It chills me to the core watching him hiding in trolley parks and doorways watching and waiting for her, she was blissfully unaware that he was there.
He knew exactly what he intended to do, he didn't even have any of her belongings with him to return, which is the excuse he has tried to use for seeing her.
During the trial, Holly has been portrayed by him to be a nasty, unfaithful girlfriend who had multiple boyfriends, this could not be further from the truth.
Holly was a quiet girl who loved her dancing and found talking to people she didn't know awkward.
She had a strong sense of what was right and wrong.
'Too many allowances'
The only time I believe Logan has spoken the truth was when he admitted that he hurt Holly out of anger because she had not been nice to him, he rarely shows emotion, and this further confirmed to me that he was being truthful at that point.
If Logan had told the truth from the start he could have saved our family having to go through the trauma of a trial and be able to grieve for Holly sooner.
The trial process has taken an enormous amount of strength and composure from our family.
Logan undoubtedly has his issues, however is more capable than he has been given credit for.
Having to sit through months of listening to various professionals, who claimed to have assessed Logan as being unfit to stand trial, has been extremely hard to digest.
They have made too many allowances for him in this process and at times it has become farcical watching his attempted defence unfold.
I understand that the court process has to be fair, but my daughter cannot be afforded this courtesy because of his actions and his actions alone.
'Not a statistic'
I love my child so much my heart aches without her.
Holly was caring, funny, energetic and at times outspoken.
We have struggled to adjust to life without her, her siblings are still struggling so much with all of it.
As a mother who has lost a child, I would hate anyone else to go through the turmoil that our family has suffered and as such I have thrown myself into raising money for emergency bleed boxes.
If we can help someone suffering a catastrophic bleed and stop another family going through what we have experienced makes it so worthwhile.
Holly's case has been labelled as knife crime but making sure that people know the truth about her case is one of my goals.
I firmly believe that teenagers should be taught about healthy relationships in schools and domestic abuse services offered at a younger age, maybe then Holly would have recognised the red flags earlier and had access to other services that could have helped her.
I don't want Holly to become another statistic, there is so much media coverage of how many women are killed each year by men, it almost normalises it for young men like Logan.
Things have got to change.
'Never be forgotten'
As a family we would like to thank those who intervened and tried to help Holly as best they could.
We will never know Holly as an adult, this year she should have been collecting her GCSE results and preparing for a prom.
We will never get to see her walk down the aisle or meet her children.
Logan has taken away our joy of future plans and seeing Holly grow into a beautiful young woman.
By the time Logan has served his sentence he will still be able to start a family and enjoy his life, everything that Holly can't do because of his mindless, selfish actions.
He stabbed my daughter 36 times, in her head, chest and back. This wasn't just to hurt Holly, it was to kill her. The pain she must have suffered breaks my heart to even imagine.
It was more than just one life lost that night because our hearts also stopped.
Holly is missed beyond words can ever describe but will never be forgotten.
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