How to survive a 1,200 mile walk with your teenage son
- Published
Thirteen-year-old Finn and his mum Kerry-Anne have just completed the adventure of a lifetime, walking almost 1,200 miles around the perimeter of Wales.
The pair spent 84 days carrying everything they needed to camp on their backs, sometimes in driving rain, before sleeping in a tent together each night - conditions that could test any relationship.
"It was intense - in a good way," laughed Kerry-Anne.
"It's a different level of connection, Finn couldn't go off and slam a door and go to his room, I couldn't walk away."
Finn's "emotionally passionate" nature could at times be challenging, she said.
"If you don't mind me saying," Kerry-Anne checked in with Finn.
"Not at all," he replied.
"We have arguments but you have to work hard to get over it," Kerry-Anne added.
The pair are now back home in South Lanarkshire, Scotland, where they share a home with Finn's dad and Kerry-Anne's husband John.
Kerry-Anne grew up in Llanmaes, Vale of Glamorgan, so the trip was an opportunity for her to revisit places from her childhood.
The mother and son are used to spending lots of time together, as Finn is home-schooled, with exploring nature a big part of his education.
"When he was young he was very unsettled," said Kerry-Anne, 45.
"We've not had any diagnosis, but we think probably neurodivergent, external - you identify with that?" she asked Finn.
He nodded in agreement.
She continued: "I noticed that getting outside was beneficial for him as much as it was for me... so I just wanted to make sure he was outside as much as he was in."
When Finn was born Kerry-Anne decided to take a break from her career in academia and youth work.
Then when the time came to put his name down for a school place she felt he was not ready.
After lots of reading on the subject and discussions with her husband, a television floor manager, they decided on home-schooling.
"It just worked for us," she said.
"It has always been year by year and if Finn ever wanted to go to school - which he doesn't - it would be his decision."
The Wales walk was by no means the pair's first adventure.
Since Finn was small they would go outside every day to observe the slow changing of the seasons and often picnic along or swim in the River Clyde near their home.
"It wasn't always idyllic," said Kerry-Anne.
"Sometimes one of us would be in a bad mood or not want to go. It is beautiful looking back on it, but anything with children is quite challenging at the time."
Then when Finn was five, inspired by Alastair Humphreys' book Microadventures, they attempted to sleep out under the stars in just a bivvy bag, external for one night of each month of the year.
In January, they slept in the snow in their back garden, in the summer they would sleep in the forest or on beaches.
They took on their first thru-hiking challenge when Finn was 10, spending four days walking the Isle of Arran Coastal Way before they had to head home when the wind snapped the poles of their tent.
Then last year when Finn was 12, they really upped the ante, completing the UK's longest national trail, the 630-mile (1,013km) South West Coast Path.
"Now that was challenging," recalled Finn.
"I didn't realise what I was signing up for," he joked.
But despite the extreme distance, he said he and his mum got on "quite well".
"There were a few challenging moments," said Kerry-Anne.
"Finn can make up a story that's five hours long and lasts the entire day."
"It's true, it’s true," confirmed Finn.
"I struggle with that lack of mental space," admitted Kerry-Anne.
At night they settled into a routine where Finn was responsible for getting water and the washing-up but apart from that, could read.
Kerry-Anne's evenings were spent putting the tent up, organising dinner, showering, washing her underwear "because I only took a couple of pairs" and researching the next day's food stops and campsite before they both went to bed at 21:00.
Each missed different things from their home life.
"I was missing board games a great deal - we [he and his friends] like to play really, really complicated ones," said Finn.
He said he also missed tofu which they found hard to come by.
Kerry-Anne missed fruit and vegetables.
"We ate so much junk food, it was all convenience stores and we were eating mostly snack bars and things," she said.
Despite these challenges, they decided to take on the Wales walk while still walking the South West Coast Path.
A year after their first epic walk, Kerry-Anne and Finn set off again in April.
They began with the 870-mile (1,400km) Wales Coast Path, which covers the entire country's coastline, followed by the 177-mile (285km) Offa's Dyke Path along the Wales-England border.
Finn admitted he spent much of the time singing "I would walk 500 miles" from the Proclaimers song I'm Gonna Be (500 miles).
Officially the route was 1,050 miles but they did closer to 1,180 because of detours to campsites and shops.
Finn's Wales highlights included "getting to eat Cypriot halloumi and chips" in New Quay, Ceredigion, and "one of the best brownies I've had in my life" in Llangrannog, also in Ceredigion.
"Sometimes the best days are not the ones with the most spectacular scenery, it's just how you feel on that day, how our relationship is or if you've slept well the night before," said Kerry-Anne.
They also endured a lot of rain.
"I wanted mum to Google how long it takes for water to [cause] trench foot," said Finn.
"[My feet are] still a bit funny now to be honest."
Where did a 13-year-old boy find so much stamina?
"From eating too much salt, sugar and saturated fat," joked Finn.
Kerry-Anne said raising money for a charity he had chosen - the RNLI - was a good motivator. They have so far raised about £8,000.
"He's probably got more energy than me now," she said.
So what has Finn learnt from his adventures with his mum?
"It's taught me about how good being outside is for your mental health essentially, I know that sounds a bit dull but I just felt really great after a day's walking," he said.
And how has it affected their relationship?
"Mum always knows what's best for me and she's always looking out for me," he said while ruffling her hair.
"I feel like we've got a really strong connection," said Kerry-Anne.
"We really like spending time in each other's company and our connection feels quite special."
"Undoubtedly," added Finn.
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