'It's hard to leave abusive relationships'

Sharon wearing her police uniform with tied back mousy brown hair smiling at the camera
Image caption,

Senior police officer Sharon Baker features alongside Queen Camilla in a new documentary on domestic violence

  • Published

A police officer who features in the Queen's new documentary about domestic abuse says it took her several years to confront what happened to her.

Queen Camilla has vowed to "eradicate" domestic violence in the new ITV show Her Majesty The Queen: Behind Closed Doors.

Sharon Baker from Avon and Somerset Police, talks about her experience as a victim in the programme.

Ms Baker said: "It's only looking back now I realise what went through."

The Queen was followed over the course of a year for the ITV1 and ITVX documentary looking at her work including private meetings with domestic violence survivors and a visit to a refuge centre.

"Coercive and controlling behaviour is full of manipulation and it's pretty unseen," said Ms Baker.

"It isolates you from your friends and family and you don't see it to begin with and it's only looking back now I realise what I went through.

"I shared it internally in a video, external with my colleagues and I spoke quite emotionally.

"I was really shocked when over 130 colleagues said they were victims too."

Image source, PA Media
Image caption,

Sharon Baker met the Queen at a special viewing of the film

She said when she met the Queen at a special screening of the documentary she could tell "how authentic she is about obliterating domestic abuse".

"It's about raising awareness and having conversations with families [and] in workplaces, so people know what to look out for and understand what to do when they think someone is a victim or a perpetrator.

"Every time I speak out it resonates with someone, a member of the public gets in touch, a colleague does," added Ms Baker.

'I felt frightened'

Ms Baker said she had an "epiphany" when she was reading about other women's experiences of abusive relationships online.

"I was reading an online blog and it was only hearing other people's descriptions of abusive relationships that I thought 'oh, he does that'."

However, she said it took her months to accept her situation.

"I spent so long minimising what he was doing and normalising it, that I couldn't recognise it in myself," she said.

"I felt scared, frightened thinking: 'What next? I've got to try and leave'."

She said that many women find it incredibly difficult to escape abusive relationships.

"They take away your confidence, they take away your network, they gaslight you.

"You're left questioning your own decisions, your own choice. So how easy is it to leave?"

Ms Baker has worked with other officers at Avon and Somerset Police to put together a Domestic Violence pledge to change culture, policies and procedures.

The force were the first force to introduce such a pledge for its staff. which includes:

  • Direct referral for psychological support without speaking to a supervisor

  • Survivor meet ups for emotional and practical support

  • Dedicated free emergency accommodation for victims.

Ms Baker said she encourages women experiencing domestic abuse to report it. The 2015 Controlling or Coercive Behaviour Act, external enables police can take action.

"My message to anyone who's a domestic abusive survivor is that there is an army of police officers who know the struggle first hand, who will believe you and help you."

The 90-minute programme also includes interviews with survivors, relatives who have lost loved ones and those working to end domestic violence, including former prime minister Theresa May, safeguarding minister Jess Phillips and Cherie Blair.

Her Majesty The Queen: Behind Closed Doors is available to watch on ITVX, external.

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