'I lost a job and marriage before ADHD diagnosis'

Chris Hurcombe was diagnosed with ADHD after multiple misdiagnoses
- Published
A man who "felt like he was failing in life" said when he was diagnosed with ADHD it was a lightbulb moment that changed everything.
Chris Hurcombe, from Cheltenham, in Gloucestershire, lost his job and his marriage broke down as a result of struggling with time management before he was diagnosed with ADHD last year.
The 48-year-old was successfully diagnosed with the condition after two misdiagnoses, and has joined ADHD UK as an ambassador to dispel myths and raise awareness.
He said: "It's not an excuse having ADHD, it's just reasoning [how] your brain works. It was life-changing."
ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is a condition that affects people's behaviour - making it harder to concentrate and manage time. Acting impulsively and taking risks can also be an issue.
From a young age, Mr Hurcombe said school reports described him as "away with the fairies" and a "day dreamer", something which he said was "painful to read, even now".
"I'd always felt, even from a young age, different," he told BBC Radio Gloucestershire.
"Being the youngest of seven children, feeling a little bit out of place even amongst my own family, and feeling like the odd one out."
'I received the answers I needed'
Mr Hurcombe said his symptoms of ADHD were causing issues in his job at a nursery in 2005, including time management.
Nine years later, he came across a video in which someone talked about having the condition. At this time, he said everything was "coming to ahead" in his life.
"So much of what he said I related too," said Mr Hurcombe.
"I went to my doctor and a triage, who said it was just anxiety and depression.
"But I thought the symptoms and traits that I have are what's giving me that anxiety."
Eventually, he came across the NHS's Right to Choose programme and, one year later, he received his ADHD diagnosis.
"I now know it wasn't just me, that I'm not a broken person. I'm learning to accept myself," he added.
Mr Hurcombe said he could be "more himself" in his new job at a nursery as a practitioner, and his colleagues were accommodating of his ADHD.
He now represents Gloucestershire for national charity ADHD UK as an ambassador.
"If I can give people that lightbulb moment of resonating with someone so much, that would be amazing.
"That's my goal ultimately," he said.
He plans to go into schools and other educational settings to help tackle myths and break down stigmas relating to ADHD.
'ADHD is not a fad'
Caroline Aistrop, from Stroud, discovered she had ADHD a year ago at 60 years old.
She told BBC Radio Gloucestershire that those with the condition "have a life where we're constantly told we're doing things wrong".
"With women in particular, the lack of attention as a kid, you're told you're a dolly dreamer. She's away with the fairies, she hasn't a clue what she's doing.
"It's equated as being stupid, incompetent and useless.
"You get all these messages saying 'you're always doing something wrong.' It has a devastating effect on your self esteem and belief you can succeed in things."
She said the diagnosis was great because it made her realise it was not her being "stupid, useless or hopeless".
"It's me actually achieving a lot in my life but I've been brought up to not acknowledge that, and keep thinking that I'm stupid.
"I know a lot of people think it's a fad, it's absolutely not. For those who discover this it's so life-changing and life-affirming. It's fantastic for our own self belief to realise what we're dealing with.
"It helps me really learn how to accept who I am, and to make the most of that."
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