Sister pens book on brother's cancer death
![Kay Backhorse wearing glasses and a black polo neck jumper](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/2048/cpsprodpb/0569/live/f8142480-4130-11ef-9ec4-61ff4fe5e3d3.jpg)
Kay Backhouse wrote Losing You, Finding Me after losing her brother
- Published
A woman has written a book about the death of her brother from cancer with the hope it will help others deal with bereavement.
Kay Backhouse, from Morecambe, Lancashire, said her brother Syd Wilson died in 2019 aged 35, having been diagnosed with a neuroendocrine tumour.
The 44-year-old said she made a promise to him she would tell their story to help others and the result is her no holds barred memoir Losing You, Finding Me.
Ms Backhouse said grief was "difficult, complex and messy" but people "don't talk about it enough".
The author, who is retraining as a grief counsellor, told BBC Radio Lancashire her younger brother was "fun, unassuming and empathic".
His death was a "massive shock", she said, but writing the memoir was unexpectedly cathartic and "changed my life".
"I didn't write it for therapy but it's ended up being the biggest therapy," she said.
Kay Backhouse says she thinks her brother Syd Wilson would be proud of her book
Ms Backhouse said she hopes the book can help others who have also experienced loss.
"You can rebuild your life, just in a different way and in a more meaningful way," she said.
Her brother's death inspired Ms Backhouse, who was a manager for a global wound care company, to completely change her career too.
She now helps children and young adults process the death of loved-ones at St John's Hospice in Lancaster.
"I had this innate knowing that I had something to give and there was something positive I could build from something so tragic."
She said while the book was "one of the most significant achievements of my life", it was "bittersweet" as she could not celebrate it with her brother.
However, she added he would be "astounded" and proud of her for telling their story.
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- Published8 July