Widow defies council ban on flowers by graves

Viv Thistlethwaite says her husband "loved flowers and doing the garden" and she would continue planting at his plot

A widow said her husband would be "mortified" by a council decision to remove all flowers from graves.

A parish council will make its village cemetery in Haddenham, Cambridgeshire, a "lawn only" space from September this year.

Haddenham Parish Council said families would have until next Spring to remove plants and trinkets to promote a "uniform and dignified appearance for all graves".

Viv Thistlethwaite, 74, said: "My husband loved flowers and doing the garden. If this move goes ahead myself and several others will continue planting flowers and just take the grass seed up."

Mrs Thistlethwaite says she brings a lawn mower in a wheelbarrow once a week to keep her husband's grave and nearby plots tidy

A lawn-only policy would mean graves need to be kept as flat, grass-covered plots with no personal items, flowers, or plants in the ground.

The parish council said neighbouring areas like Willingham and Sutton had similar regulations to address "long-term issues" of overgrown or untended graves.

The authority added the policy would prevent accidental damage to headstones, caused by the use of strimmers in tight spaces, and said contractors would be instructed to begin clearance after winter, when flowers were not in bloom.

'Heartache for families'

Mrs Thistlethwaite's husband, Leslie, died in 2021. She also tends to five others at the cemetery, including her parents, aunt and uncle.

"I come up here every week with my lawnmower in a wheelbarrow and I cut around Leslie's plot and his mate's grave next door, who he used to go to football with," she said.

Mandy Amory's late father tended graves in the Haddenham cemetery from the early 1960s

Mandy Amory, 61, from Needingworth tends to three graves in the cemetery twice a week.

"It is a really emotional thing, just the thought of having no flowers planted on those graves is upsetting.

"My mum passed away in 2013 and there has always been flowers on her grave", she said.

Her partner, Darren Miles, said there had been no consultation.

He said many of the plots were "immaculate" and "if that is taken away there is going to be a lot of heartache for families".

Tending a loved one's grave is "all that some people have left and if it is taken away it is really shocking," says Darren Miles, 59

A spokesperson from the parish council said: "Many councils across the region, and indeed nationally, have adopted similar approaches to ensure their cemeteries remain safe, uniform, accessible, and respectfully maintained."

"We would like to make clear that this change was not made for cost-saving reasons. Haddenham Parish Council remains in a fixed ground maintenance contract until 2029, so no financial benefit is associated with this policy shift."

The council said it wanted to ensure the cemetery was maintained in a way that "honours those laid to rest".