Parents 'find their tribe' to combat loneliness

Stephanie Jackson said she has a supportive partner but wishes she had family nearby

Parents have been speaking out about feeling lonely during the early stages of parenthood.

A 2024 survey from UK charity Home-Start, which operates in Guernsey, found 82% of parents had experienced feelings of isolation.

Mother-of-two Stephanie Jackson said loneliness was "one of the things I struggle with a lot".

"You can't keep up the same friendship circles, you can't do the same things that you used to," she said.

Ms Jackson said not having family living in the island contributed to her feeling isolated.

"I grew up with both sets of grandparents very close to us...it's just not a reality for my children, I feel a sad for them," she said.

Kay Lindsay encouraged parents to reach out to support groups if they feel lonely

Parenting groups are one way for people to spend time with others at a similar stage, and there are several in the island.

Kay Lindsay has helped run the Kindred Family Hub for more than 20 years and has noticed increasing numbers of parents feeling who have feelings of loneliness.

She said: "There's parents that have relocated to Guernsey and often don't have the family support here on island so they can feel quite isolated.

"We had one lady that eventually came to one of our groups and she hadn't been out the house for a year because she'd had a baby and then just felt she didn't know where to go."

Family support worker for Home-Start, Ally de Carteret, said she was also seeing parents without wider family support.

She said parent groups were important in helping parents "find their tribe".

'It takes a village'

Health visitor Vicky Wiskin said: "Loneliness amongst parenting is far more common than people realise... parents can be surrounded by others and still feel really quite isolated."

She added: "Parenting can be lonely but it can also be quite boring and I think that impacts hugely on parental mental health."

When it comes to getting support, Ms Wiskin said there was "a plethora of mother and toddler groups" in the island that can provide a "real sense of human connection".

"It takes a village to raise a child and parenting was never, ever meant to be done alone, so by supporting parents we're hoping to strengthen families as a whole," she said.

Amber Regnard has been attending the parent group Dragonfiles for a number of years

Amber Regnard attends the parent group Dragonflies to meet friends and combat loneliness.

She said: "You often compare yourself to others and I think when you compare yourself to others it makes you become even more insular in yourself.

"I've got a really great group of friends now that weren't necessarily school friends or work friends but I just met at baby groups."

Mother-of-five Chelsea Le Poidevin agreed that getting out and about and attending groups was an important part of making the most of early parenthood.

"When I first noticed I would just try and just put them in the buggy and even go for a little walk so you don't get too much in a dark place really, because it can be very scary especially having a new born," she said.

"You do need to notice it and get some help."

Tamer Birsen said it can be difficult as a father to find support at times

Amber Birsen is a mother of two who attends parent groups but understands the prospect can be daunting for some.

"All the local community groups have Facebook pages so if you're not comfortable speaking to people in person, you can always just send people a message," she said.

Her husband Tamer said it could be particularly daunting as a father to seek connections but encouraged them to do so.

"They're a wonderful place to be you, meet other wonderful parents and you slowly do build up that village," he said.