Former Glos cricketer praises grief charity

Former Gloucestershire player Tom Smith lost his wife Laura to liver cancer in 2018

A former cricketer who lost his wife to cancer has praised the work of a bereavement charity, saying it has helped him "feel life" again.

Tom Smith, who is now part of Gloucestershire's coaching team, told BBC Radio Bristol how Grief Encounter had also helped his two daughters Clara and Rosie, who were just one and three when their mum Laura lost her life to liver cancer eight years ago.

He said thanks to their advice, he was able to inform his children about what was happening despite their young ages.

The charity is currently running a campaign called Ease the Pain, calling for greater recognition of the ongoing impact of childhood bereavement and compassionate conversations about grief.

"Mummy might die overnight"

Speaking to John Darvall on BBC Radio Bristol, Tom said the support he and his children have received from Grief Encounter has been "incredible".

For counselling, he was partnered up with another person who had recently lost her husband.

"We sort of went through all the checkpoints at similar times, like around Christmas we talked [about] what's that going to be like," he said.

"She went on her first holiday and then I went on my first flight [without Laura] and it was talking about all the things that you just don't talk about with other people...

"I can feel life now."

Tom and Laura's youngest daughter Clara had not long been born, when Laura was diagnosed with liver cancer. In 2018 she was given three weeks to live.

Rather than hiding the reality from their children Tom said staff were "unanimous" in saying they must be involved.

"They need to be aware because you're not dealing with a three-year old, you're potentially dealing with an 18 year old with lots of questions down the track," Tom said.

"She [Clara] was told mummy might die overnight and you need to say goodbye.

"She won't remember that now, but she was. I know as a grown up, I can tell her to her face now that she was involved in every part of knowledge that we had."

'Transformational'

"When Rosie went through Grief Encounter, she was very contained," Tom said.

"She struggled to talk about it. She didn't want to talk about it...

"Through a year of play therapy [with] Grief Encounter, she was transformational."

It comes as the charity marks Children's Grief Awareness Week, with new statistics showing a quarter of people who lose a parent as a child, never spoke to their friends about their grief.

That's despite almost a third saying they thought about their loss several times a day.

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