'Pregnancy is hard - I want to help other mums'

Lillie Pusey struggled to have another baby after her son was born in 2016

When Lillie Pusey and her husband planned for a baby, she was not prepared for the "rollercoaster journey" that awaited her.

The 44-year-old from Milden, near Lavenham, Suffolk, was a helicopter pilot in the British Army when in her thirties she decided to have a baby.

Her son Teddy came along in 2016, but when Mrs Pusey wanted more children she struggled and went through five unsuccessful rounds of IVF.

"As a person who was quite used to being in control professionally and in other aspects of my life, I found all of that really overwhelming," she said.

Mrs Pusey described herself as "quite a career" girl before she decided to have a baby.

While she thought pregnancy "would just happen overnight" it took about a year for her to become pregnant with her son.

"That was reasonably straightforward but unfortunately for us when we wanted to have more children it was a real struggle," she explained.

"We embarked on an IVF journey and had five rounds.

"[IVF] is tough on you as a woman - there's lots of manipulation of hormones.

"I didn't realise all before I went through IVF quite how much of an effect on your mood, outlook, wellbeing and hormones it had."

Mrs Pusey was working in the British Army when she decided to try for a baby

Mrs Pusey and her husband started IVF in 2018, before they stopped in 2020 during the Covid lockdown.

"Doing [IVF] as well as being a working woman, that's quite difficult because in your private life you're going through a rollercoaster of emotions and then still turning up for work and trying to do your best," she continued.

"As a partnership it's really tough, my husband, I'm sure, found it a difficult time as well in trying to support me and going through his own journey of trying to have more children."

The couple are unable to have more children but Mrs Pusey said she is now at a point where she wants to share her story to help other mums.

Her fertility experience led her to found Mama Nourish - a wellbeing and nutrition business supporting mums through their pregnancy and postpartum recovery.

'New identity'

Mrs Pusey set up her business when her son was about three and her "postpartum fog" had lifted.

She said she had found motherhood "much harder" than she expected and thought aspects such as breastfeeding would have come naturally to her.

"As a person who was quite used to being in control professionally and in other aspects of my life I found all of that really overwhelming," she continued.

"The truth is being a mum with a young baby is really hard because you're learning on the job and it's also the most important job that you've ever done.

"At the same time you're recovering from your pregnancy and your birth, and coming to terms with your new identity as a mum."

Mrs Pusey said mothers should not be afraid to ask for help when they need it

After coming through this she decided she wanted to help other new mums with their wellbeing.

Mrs Pusey said it was important to especially help mums during the "fourth trimester" - the 12-week period following birth where both mum and baby adjust to the physical and emotional change.

Mrs Pusey said other mums going through similar journeys should "go gently" with themselves.

She added: "Just try and release expectations that you're going to feel like you've got it together all the time because it's a hard journey and you need to be kind and show yourself some compassion.

"Don't be afraid to reach out for help.

"It can feel like one should be shouldering everything alone and it's not true.

"People need community, they need support and they need love so don't be afraid to ask for that - it's not a sign of weakness."