'Texting 999 saved me from my abuser'

A domestic abuse survivor is urging others to recognise the signs after breaking free from a decade of coercive control

A woman who fled an abusive partner by texting 999 has urged other people to recognise the signs of abuse and seek help.

Ella, not her real name, from Cambridgeshire, said she lived in "one big, foggy confusion" while in the grip of her husband's coercive, controlling and abusive behaviour.

Her husband abused her both physically and mentally, making her believe she was worthless and threatening to have her children taken away.

She reached out to police in secret, eventually texting 999 following an attack, and said it was the "biggest relief" when officers arrived.

Ella first met her husband in 2013 and believed he was "quite shy and seemed very loyal".

However, soon after she moved to Cambridgeshire to live with him, he began criticising her over "petty stuff" and became violent, pushing her into walls and throwing items at her.

'I felt like a monster'

She said: "One day he would call me a spineless loser and the next, I was very smart and hard working - I was living in one big, foggy confusion."

Ella said she found herself minimising the behaviour as a coping mechanism, telling herself at least she did not have broken bones and there must be something wrong with her.

She said she was "walking on eggshells".

"He would accuse me of not supporting him, but on the other hand, when I wanted to help him, it was never good enough.

"I felt like I was insensitive and some sort of cold monster," she said.

Over 10 years the abuse escalated and Ella knew she had to leave to protect her children.

"I felt like my brain was melting, so I started to take notes of incidents as it's easy to forget the bad times in-between the good," she said.

She first reached out to police through Cambridgeshire Constabulary's web chat service and registered her mobile number, tentatively making plans to leave.

Anyone who has registered a phone number with police, which can be done online, can then text 999.

• If you have been affected by sexual abuse or violence, details of help and support are available at BBC Action Line.

'Biggest relief of my life'

After another violent attack, she messaged police for help.

"I couldn't believe when they arrived. I cried because I couldn't believe that I had really texted 999 - it was the biggest relief of my life."

Moments later, officers arrived on scene and arrested her husband, who was later convicted of domestic abuse offences.

Ella is now urging other victims to seek help from police and domestic abuse organisations.

"My advice would be to trust the police; they are on your side," she said.

"The officers who helped me were patient and professional. They never rushed me and they had empathy.

"Even if you decide to stay in the relationship, if it's safe, take notes or recordings and register your phone with the police, just in case.

"Although the post-separation was a bumpy process – grief, missing that person, reminiscing good times even – I'm so glad I made the decision to end it and get help. It's given me a feeling of peace and relief."