'I will never trust people after actor's abuse'

Alexander Westwood was jailed for 15 and a half years for a catalogue of sex crimes against five victims, four of whom had been children at the time

Lily has loved acting since she was a young girl and hoped that tuition from Sex Education actor Alexander Westwood would help her pursue her dream of becoming an actress.

Instead, Westwood's lessons were the start of the darkest period of her life.

Westwood, from Albrighton in Shropshire, used the lessons to inflict a torrent of abuse on the 16-year-old - raping her, sexually assaulting her, and inciting her to engage in sexual activity.

Lily, 20, - whose name has been changed to protect her anonymity - was one of several of Westwood's victims. In February, he was jailed for 15 and a half years for a horrifying catalogue of abuse against five victims, but the BBC is aware of two women whose charges were dropped before they could get to court.

Speaking to the BBC for the first time, Lily shares her story, speaking about the horrific abuse from someone she should have been able to trust, and how it has shaped the rest of her life.

Warning: Some people may find details in this story distressing.

Lily was abused during her acting lessons with Westwood, who ensnared her into a contract in a bid to keep her coming to his sessions

Lily wanted to go to acting college. Westwood told her mother that he could help her and offered to tutor Lily.

The first two acting sessions were completely normal. She learnt about the acting industry, the process of auditioning, and how to prepare monologues. But the third session was different.

"That's when everything started to go downhill," Lily said. "He started to do stuff to me."

Over a period of 10 months, Westwood abused Lily during their so-called lessons. He made her strip while performing one of Ophelia's monologues in Hamlet. He touched her, as well as himself, and raped her on several occasions.

Lily said she had to live with the fact that she lost her virginity to an act of rape.

It took 10 months for Lily to muster the courage to tell her mother about what was going on behind closed doors.

"I was a scared 16-year-old," she said. "It's a very hard subject to actually talk about to your mum - because every time I really wanted to tell her, it was just like, how do you actually tell your mother what's been happening to you?

"And there were many occasions I really wanted to tell her, 'mum, this is happening to me' - but it just felt like an apple choking in my throat."

Feeling completely alone and terrified, Lily started doing anything she could think of to get out of Westwood's lessons.

"It got to the point where I was actually making myself throw up," Lily said.

"I made myself eat lots of raw cookie dough so I could vomit. I forced my fingers into my mouth and took medications."

However, whenever Lily missed a session, Westwood would call her mother, asking where she was.

When she asked her daughter why she didn't want to attend the sessions anymore, Lily could not bear to tell her mother the truth and instead said she no longer wanted to do acting.

Knowing why his victim did not want to come to his lessons, Westwood refused to let her slide out of his grip and ensnared her into a contract.

He told her this obliged her to complete 365 lessons with him, or she would have to pay him up to £36,000.

So Lily kept silent, until after 10 months of abuse, while watching a Netflix show one evening with her mother, Lily started to get an anxiety attack.

While crying, she told her mother she had to tell her something.

Telling her why she hadn't been able to speak to her about it before, she said: "Because I know I'm going to be breaking your heart."

Alexander Westwood was described in court as "manipulative and predatory"

The impact of Westwood's abuse on Lily has been profound. It fuelled a hatred for her own body, leading her to struggle to even go to the toilet.

"When I have to touch myself there, I just [get] toilet paper and quickly do it," she said.

"I can't even take showers anymore. I take showers, but it's like hateful. I hate my body.

"It goes to the point where I can't even put in a tampon."

She wore oversized clothing and struggled with what she believed to be an eating disorder.

"I had days where I didn't want to eat because I didn't deserve to eat," she said.

Speaking about one extreme moment, Lily told the BBC: "One time I burnt my skin on purpose. There's literally still a mark on my skin here where I burnt myself. I tried to get rid of the skin that was dirty.

"He [was living life to] his fullest, while I was literally burning my skin."

Lily's lifelong love of acting was also blown to pieces by the shattering abuse. She told her teachers she wanted to change subjects but was told she had too much passion and talent for the subject.

"I had to fall back in love with drama and acting. I literally got into a panic attack doing a stupid monologue - crying, panicking. I was shaken," she said.

"I couldn't work with male actors. I couldn't do any of the performances. I was scared. I was actually scared someone was going to abuse me."

The abuse has also affected her ability to trust people.

"I will never trust people to the full extent, and I won't lie, there are some days when I don't even want to have my own family," she said.

It has affected her ability to be intimate with men, and she worries about having to tell any future partners about the ordeal she has been through.

Judge Neil Chawla said at Westwood's sentencing that the actor used his minor celebrity status to prey on impressionable, innocent young girls

After Lily confided in her mother, they went to the police, but the case was closed due to a lack of evidence. Around two years later, the case was reopened, with the police aware of several victims.

Despite charges being made against Westwood, he remained out on bail - something that caused a lot of grief and anger for his victims, with Lily calling it "disgusting" - until the week before he was sentenced, having been caught breaking his bail conditions.

He was described in court as "manipulative and predatory", and jurors were told his repeated offending against five victims was "a habit, a lifestyle".

Sentencing Westwood at Wolverhampton Crown Court, Judge Neil Chawla said: "You used your minor celebrity status as an actor to prey on impressionable, innocent, and naive young girls."

Throughout the trial, the judge described his "seemingly nonchalant attitude", which "seems to border on arrogance at times".

Westwood is now behind bars after being given a jail sentence of 15 and a half years, but for Lily and his other victims, no sentence could ever be enough.

But Lily has worked hard to put her life back together. She wants to create political theatre, using comedy in her work. She has a stronger bond with her mum than ever before and now has "true friends".

One of the only positive things to come out of her ordeal has been the bond she has formed with other victims of Westwood, who even had a day out at the pub on International Women's Day.

"For me, it's like a new family," Lily said.

"It's like a family that will never judge you; it'll be a family that'll be there for you no matter what.

"We still deserve to be happy, even though we have sad days."