Comforting to see other female gamblers - woman

Bianca Colclough says she found a sense of community in casinos

A woman from Staffordshire has said it was a comfort to her to see she wasn’t the only woman experiencing an addiction to gambling.

Bianca Colclough, 43, lived with her addiction for 12 years and said it stemmed from sexual abuse she suffered as a child.

She waived her legal right to anonymity to tell her story, saying the two were connected due to the feeling she had to keep them both a secret.

When she was a youngster she was frightened of the repercussions of speaking out about the abuse she suffered, she said, and she felt this became ingrained in her.

She said money was also involved in the abuse she was subjected to, since when she psychologically linked money with “something bad”.

“I didn’t really understand money, therefore I didn’t have any respect or value for what money is,” she said.

Ms Colclough said she first became fascinated by gambling when she went to a casino with a friend after a night out, and he won about £50 on a gambling machine.

“I just found myself becoming captivated by this machine, that was paying me for doing very little” she said.

Ms Colclough lived with her addicition for 12 years

'No sense of time'

She said she felt a sense of community and escapism in the casino, with the ambience being one of its main draws.

“When I was in the casino there was almost a society of women, like myself, who were lawyers, midwives, corporate professionals that would be in there for the same purpose as myself.

“But if I was to see them outside the casino we wouldn’t even acknowledge each other because we were all harbouring this particular secret.”

The fact there were no windows and no sunlight, meant there was no sense of time inside the casinos, she added.

She likened her need to get a fix to people spending money on treats such as expensive handbags.

At the height of her gambling problem, she was spending as much as £1,000 per week, she said.

This led her to take payday loans and credit cards to get by financially.

In a twist of irony, she said her gambling issues became worse when she was given financial help.

She agreed to an Individual Voluntary Arrangement (IVA), an agreement with creditors to repay part of her debts.

She said this meant the amount she was paying off towards her loan reduced from £1,000 to £250 per month, which to her felt like she had gained an additional £750.

Ms Colclough believes there should be more regulation around IVAs to ensure they aren't fuelling addiciotn

She believes there should be stronger regulation in place so companies look into the reasons behind IVAs before they sign up to them.

Her IVA wiped out around £30,000 of debt – something she said made her feel as if she was being given “free money”.

Ms Colclough said the worst part of her addiction was that it caused her to lie to family members.

She recalled one instance where she stepped outside a casino and lied to her father to say her car had broken down.

“He’d send me £200 and not ask me any questions, and I’d be straight back into the casino – with the view that I was going to win it back.

“There wasn’t any malice involved in it but of course I could never tell him what was really happening. I just couldn’t do it, it was too shameful.”

Ms Colcough finally confronted her addiction after her two children were born, and she realised how her behaviour was affecting others who depended on her.

Support from GambleAware helped her, she said, and she is now an ambassador for the charity.

If you or someone you know has been affected by the issues raised in this story, you can find information about the support available at BBC Action Line.