'Baby loss is incredibly lonely, please speak up'

Lauren Callaghan lost her baby daughter in 2024 and wants people to share their experiences of grief as part of Baby Loss Awareness Week

A bereaved Jersey mother is encouraging people to "talk more" about their experiences of losing a baby as part of a national awareness week.

Lauren Callaghan lost her daughter Aoife in 2024 when she was "born sleeping" at just over 21 weeks old.

She wants people to use Baby Loss Awareness Week to share their grief and to learn more about the help available on island.

"Don't be lonely, because it can be an incredibly lonely time... use the resources that are available to support you through whatever your grief journey looks like", she said.

Mrs Callaghan said her family would be "forever grateful" for the support of a hospital counsellor and trauma therapist, Karina Ward, and for the help of local child loss charity Philip's Footprints.

She said Mrs Ward guided her through her grief, something she was then able to share with family and friends.

Philip's Footprints provided her with a memory box of keepsakes when her daughter was born, including Christmas decorations, bracelets and books for her other children.

She said: "They allowed us to have the memories and the keepsakes of Aoife and navigate something so incredibly traumatic but in a way that will help us shape our lives going forward."

'Taboo subject'

Since it was set up in 2008, Philip's Footprints has donated more than 500 memory boxes to bereaved families in Jersey.

Founder Jo Nash said the charity was proud of the achievement but "there was a sadness".

"Each box represents a life not lived, a family that may be changed forever," she said.

She hoped that parents would know they were not alone and that their child would "always be remembered".

Karina Ward is a hospital counsellor and trauma therapist

Mrs Ward said she has helped more than 90 women process baby loss since she started her role two years ago, and there was "always a small waiting list" which reflected how much the support is needed.

She said: "Sometimes when people come in they can't even speak, so the first hour is literally just feeling those emotions. It's about making sure everyone knows that that's okay - there's no expectation when you come into a therapeutic setting."

She wants everyone affected by Baby Loss Awareness Week to "not try to fight it alone".

Chair of Philip's Footprints Kenan Osborne said baby loss had been a "taboo subject" for many years but it was "nothing to be embarrassed about".

"With one in four pregnancies ending unexpectedly this happens a lot... it's good to talk," he said.

Fort Regent's dome will be lit up blue and pink as part of events for Baby Loss Awareness Week

Baby Loss Awareness Week takes place between 9 and 15 October, and is led nationally by Sands, a stillbirth and neonatal death charity.

As part of the week, Philip's Footprints has organised training, led by Sands, for 40 Jersey health professionals on pregnancy and baby loss bereavement care.

Fort Regent and Elizabeth Castle have also been lit up blue and pink.

The week will conclude with a global "wave of light" on Wednesday at 19:00 BST, when families around the world will light candles to remember babies who died too soon.