'Losing a child is a really traumatic thing to go through'

Trevor Bygate's daughter Chloe took her own life in 2014

A mental health campaigner found out he made the 2025 Invictus Games UK team on what would have been his late daughter's 30th birthday.

Trevor Bygate, 49, who lives in Hadleigh, Suffolk, was serving in the Army when his daughter Chloe took her own life in 2014.

It led to him being medically discharged with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and he has used the experience to educate others of mental health.

Mr Bygate believed Chloe was looking down on him the day he found out he had been selected for the games.

Mr Bygate, who is originally from the north-east of England, began serving in the Army in 1998.

Like many military families, his work led to him and Chloe regularly moving to live in different places.

Mr Bygate previously lived in Germany, where Chloe joined him for a year, and he has served in Afghanistan.

In 2014, when Chloe was 19, Mr Bygate said she had been struggling with her mental health.

On 30 April of that year, she took her own life while Mr Bygate was in the US on an Army exercise.

Chloe would have turned 30 on 7 June this year

"It wasn't great that I wasn't there because it left a lasting impact on me," he said.

"I blamed myself for not being around.

"It's why I am the way I am at the moment and I have this huge passion to support everyone.

"I wasn't there for her, so my brain tells me I've got to be there for others.

"It is a really traumatic thing to go through losing a child."

Mr Bygate served in the Army between 1998 and 2019

Mr Bygate initially took several months off work, but it was not until 2019 that he was diagnosed with complex PTSD and medically discharged from the Army.

He was keen to express his gratitude to the Royal British Legion, which helped him in his recovery after he left the armed forces.

The charity, which provides financial, social and emotional support for those who are and have been in the armed forces, helped fund Chloe's funeral. He described its support as "first class".

What happened to Chloe, as well as experiencing his own mental health journey, helped inspire Mr Bygate to pave a new career path.

"Being in the Army for the last five years of my career after she died was quite a traumatic experience. It was very difficult," he said.

"I wanted to help young people and people with mental health issues... so I went off and did some courses."

Mr Bygate is a keen mental health advocate and wants more education around the topic

Mr Bygate now works as a mental health advocate for HM Revenue and Customs while also helping to give presentations on behalf of Papyrus - a charity dedicated to the prevention of suicide of young people.

He is keen to break the stigma around mental health and show it is OK to talk about struggles, while educating others on the topic.

"I come across as passionate because I am," he added.

"I've been there and done it - I've been through the trauma so I know how it affects people and if I can push my passion and my drive to inspire then I will.

"I always say to myself, Chloe didn't die for nothing, she died for something and that's me making sure that this story gets out."

Mr Bygate will fly to Vancouver in early 2025 to compete for the UK in the Invictus Games

Mr Bygate's selection into the UK's team for the 2025 Invictus Games was special for several reasons.

"I was lucky enough to have been selected for the Invictus Games team but we were told back in June," he said.

"This year is 10 years since the Invictus Games started, it's 10 years since Chloe died, and I got the phone call to tell me that I was selected on 7 June - which is her 30th birthday.

"I think she was looking down on me at the time."

The games, which are an international multi-sport event for the wounded, injured and sick servicemen and women both serving and veterans, will be held next February in Vancouver, Canada.

Mr Bygate said he was "chuffed to bits" with the news and will now spend some time looking into which event he would like to compete in along with the other athletes.

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