'My addiction wanted me dead until I found hope'

Mr Hayward has now re-entered education

A student who was drinking more than a litre of vodka every day has described how his life was turned around after attending a rehab clinic.

John Hayward, 30, from Gloucester, began drinking socially when he was a teenager and later started using alcohol as a “coping mechanism” during a period of poor mental health.

After his addiction started dominating his life, he checked himself into Abbeycare, a residential drug and alcohol addiction recovery clinic in Minsterworth, Gloucestershire.

“My addiction wanted me dead - I thought nobody else felt the way I did, I thought it was just me," Mr Hayward said.

Mr Hayward before entering treatment

Mr Hayward said: "It turns out that addiction affects thousands, millions of people.

“Every single day, come the evening I'd be shaking, I'd be sweating, the dry heaving would start.

"And the only thing that stopped it was to take a drink of alcohol."

Mr Hayward said it was like "every night for a few years" but despite that he was still caring for his brother, helping his parents and carrying on.

"But looking back, I wasn't really with it, because all the time I was just thinking, ‘When can I get my next drink’," he said.

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Once Mr Hayward's addiction escalated to the point where he was drinking more than a litre of vodka every day, he began looking for local services that could help him.

“In desperation I began Googling anywhere that could stop the pain that I was in, and Abbeycare came up.

“It's just changed my life, I finally realised what alcoholism is, that it’s an illness, and how I can live with that illness, and manage it," he said.

Mr Hayward says he couldn't function without a drink

Mr Hayward stayed at Abbeycare twice in 2022 where he underwent a full detox and began to learn more about his condition.

Mr Hayward said: "By the time I got into my mid-20s, things got so bad that I couldn't really function without a drink.

“I've learnt that there is a way that you can live with the illness, just like many other illnesses, as long as you continue with ongoing treatment, keeping it away."

Mr Hayward says he would "start drinking vodka" to get going.

"The drinking got to blackouts where I wouldn't remember the night before," he said.

He has continued his recovery by taking part in the clinic’s aftercare programme, which helps to reduce the risk of a relapse.

Mr Hayward has re-entered education and is about to begin his final year of a degree in IT and computing with business.

John said each evening he would go 'straight to the bottle'

Eddie Clarke, outreach manager of the Abbeycare Group, said: “John’s story is a timely reminder of the devastation that alcohol addiction can cause.

“Abbeycare’s aftercare programme is one of the most important elements of what we offer, as it ensures that our patients have constant support as they navigate their recoveries.

“Unfortunately there will be many other people in situations like the one John faced, where alcohol is controlling their lives and damaging their health.

"Nobody should suffer in silence and we would urge these people to seek help."