BBC Homepage
  • Skip to content
  • Accessibility Help
  • Your account
  • Notifications
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
  • More menu
More menu
Search BBC
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
Close menu
BBC News
Menu
  • Home
  • InDepth
  • Israel-Gaza war
  • War in Ukraine
  • Climate
  • UK
  • World
  • Business
  • Politics
  • Culture
More
  • Tech
  • Science
  • Health
  • Family & Education
  • In Pictures
  • Newsbeat
  • BBC Verify
  • Disability
  • Trending

The fathers saying 'Dads don't babysit'

  • Published
    27 April 2016
Share page
About sharing
Man in t-shirt which bears a slogan: "Dads don't babysit. It's called parenting."Image source, facebook.com/TheDadNetwork
Image caption,

The image that got people talking on Reddit about parenting stereotypes

ByBBC Trending
What's popular and why

"Aww, it's so nice of you to babysit and give mom a break."

"I guess you got stuck with the kids today."

"You've got a good helper here!"

These are just some of the things that have been said to dads who have been looking after their children, according to testimonies on Reddit, external, where the topic has sparked a flurry of conversation.

It began when a user shared an image of a t-shirt bearing the slogan: "Dads don't babysit, it's called parenting."

The man in the picture modelling the t-shirt is Al Ferguson from The Dad Network, external.

He posted a picture of himself online a while ago wearing the t-shirt, but the image has resurfaced on Reddit, and it's got people talking about parenting stereotypes.

"I've had people ask me 'Are you looking after the kids today?' Or 'I can tell you've dressed the baby today,'" he told BBC Trending.

"It's just out of date. The modern dad is more active in their family life than they were historically. It's out of date to assume the mum is the primary caregiver."

Although the number of dads who choose to stay at home and care for their children is on the rise, a 2014 study by the Pew Research Centre showed that only 16% of primary caregivers are men.

Al Ferguson cradling son in photo shootImage source, Al Ferguson, The Dad Network
Image caption,

Al Ferguson with his son, documents his life as a dad on his blog The Dad Network.

Over 3,000 people have responded to the suggestion that dads are only "babysitting" when they are - of course - parenting.

Some dads shared their own experiences on Reddit.

"It hurt really bad when I was a new stay-at-home dad and people would ask about me babysitting… It really made me almost cry sometimes because it was like they couldn't see me as a caretaker," one user wrote.

Others broadened the conversation to talk more generally about the sexism that dads experience.

"Reminds me of all those ridiculous commercials where they make it seem like dads don't know how to take care of their kids while mom is away," said another Redditor. "They make a mess, kids go crazy, they don't know how to cook, clean, change a diaper...where's all the outrage?"

Another user wrote "Single dad here. It's even worse when my seven year old wants to have a sleepover… I call the parents. I explain she wants to have a sleepover and your kid is invited. Then the awkward question, will mom be there? And when you explain, no mom here - sorry, there's that long pause. Sad to say to this day she still hasn't had a sleepover."

line

Follow BBC Trending on Facebook

Join the conversation on this and other stories here, external.

line

Others disagreed that it was sexist. "It goes the other way too. My husband will occasionally say that 'You owe me for babysitting last Saturday'… You are their father, you were parenting!" one user posted.

Al Ferguson says it's not just the language that contributes to the gendered stereotypes, there are other barriers to equality that they're fighting, such as baby changing facilities typically being in the ladies toilets.

"Now there are more working mums and more stay at home dads. There's been a cultural shift. I think that people need to move with the times."

Blog by Emma Wilson, external.

Next story: How Vitaliy Klitschko's bike ride took an unexpected turn

Vitaliy Klitschko's riding a bike.Image source, Facebook

Kiev residents have been throwing jabs at the former heavyweight boxing champion on social media. READ MORE

You can follow BBC Trending on Twitter @BBCtrending, external, and find us on Facebook, external. All our stories are at bbc.com/trending.

Top stories

  • Live. 

    'We want them off the payroll,' Met chief tells BBC after secret filming exposes officers' misogyny and racism

    • 10406 viewing10k viewing
  • Unmasked: Secret BBC filming exposes hidden culture of misogyny and racism inside Met Police

    • Published
      15 hours ago
  • Hackers delete children's pictures and data after nursery attack backlash

    • Published
      9 hours ago

More to explore

  • Why BBC sent undercover reporter into a busy London police station

    Rory Bibb, a young white man with dark, curly hair, dressed in the uniform of Metropolitan Police civilian staff, a navy zip-up top with a badge saying "designated detention officer" and royal blue epaulettes. He is standing against a blank white background.
  • How Taylor Swift made herself too big to fail

    Side-by-side portraits of Taylor Swift at different times in her career, under a 'BBC InDepth' logo. On the left, she has straight hair and wears a sparkly pink outfit, looking left. On the right, she is younger, has curly hair and wears a black sequined outfit, looking right. The background features a vinyl record design with star decorations.
  • 'Golden ticket asylum rights to end' and 'Pay back the money, Mr Mone'

    Newspaper headlines: 'Golden ticket asylum rights to end' and 'Pay back the money, Mr Mone'
  • Dame Jane Goodall revolutionised our understanding of our closest primate cousins

    Jane Goodall appears amongs the leaves of the rainforest holding a pair of binoculars.
  • Should I use olive oil for frying? How to choose the right cooking oil

    A stock photo shows a woman pouring a big bottle of sunflower oil into a deep wok pan on an electric hob with cooking ingredients all around her and her kitchen cabinets and oven in the background.
  • 'I won £65,000 at an employment tribunal – but I've yet to see a penny'

    Nadine is standing outside, looking at the camera. She has black curly hair and is wearing a brown cardigan.
  • Surge in Ukrainian attacks on oil refineries sparks Russian fuel shortages

    A composite image showing a Ukrainian pilot using a drone. He is imposed over an image of a n oil refinery from which smoke is rising after a blast.
  • Four ways this shutdown could end

    Republican leaders hold a news conference about the shutdown
  • Sudanese city under siege: 'My son's whole body is full of shrapnel'

    Ahmed Abdul Rahman is lying on a blanket, wearing a vest with bandages on his body
loading elsewhere stories

Most read

  1. 1

    Hackers delete children's pictures and data after nursery attack backlash

  2. 2

    Heart surgeon's failures contributed to multiple deaths

  3. 3

    'Golden ticket asylum rights to end' and 'Pay back the money, Mr Mone'

  4. 4

    Unmasked: Secret BBC filming exposes hidden culture of misogyny and racism inside Met Police

  5. 5

    'African tribe' evicted from Scottish Borders camp

  6. 6

    Israeli naval ships intercept Gaza-bound flotilla

  7. 7

    Should I use olive oil for frying? How to choose the right cooking oil

  8. 8

    Tories pledge to scrap landmark climate legislation

  9. 9

    Relief and new baby for asylum family of child suffocated in Channel crossing

  10. 10

    'I won £65,000 at an employment tribunal – but I've yet to see a penny'

BBC News Services

  • On your mobile
  • On smart speakers
  • Get news alerts
  • Contact BBC News

Best of the BBC

  • Bafta-winning Belfast police drama returns

    • Attribution
      iPlayer

    Added to Watchlist
    Blue Lights has been added to your iPlayer Watchlist.
    Blue Lights
  • The vigilante matriarch behind a complex drugs dynasty

    • Attribution
      Sounds

    Added to My Sounds
    Crime Next Door has been added to your My Sounds.
    Crime Next Door: The Ballad of Big Mags
  • Unravelling the mysteries of the human brain

    • Attribution
      iPlayer

    Added to Watchlist
    Secrets of the Brain has been added to your iPlayer Watchlist.
    Secrets of the Brain
  • Paul Sinha is quizzed on crisps and cricket

    • Attribution
      Sounds

    Added to My Sounds
    Paul Sinha's Perfect Pub Quiz has been added to your My Sounds.
    Paul Sinha's Perfect Pub Quiz
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
  • Terms of Use
  • About the BBC
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookies
  • Accessibility Help
  • Parental Guidance
  • Contact the BBC
  • Make an editorial complaint
  • BBC emails for you

Copyright © 2025 BBC. The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read about our approach to external linking.