BBC Homepage
  • Skip to content
  • Accessibility Help
  • Your account
  • Notifications
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
  • More menu
More menu
Search BBC
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
Close menu
BBC News
Menu
  • Home
  • InDepth
  • Israel-Gaza war
  • War in Ukraine
  • Climate
  • UK
  • World
  • Business
  • Politics
  • Culture
More
  • Tech
  • Science
  • Health
  • Family & Education
  • In Pictures
  • Newsbeat
  • BBC Verify
  • Disability
  • BBC Trending

One man, four wives: The new hit reality TV show

  • Published
    5 June 2017
Share page
About sharing
Musa Mseleku and his four wives on a South African reality TV showImage source, Mzansi Magic
Image caption,

Musa Mseleku and his four wives

ByBBC Trending
Going in-depth on social media

A new hit reality TV show has restarted a debate over the traditional practice of polygamy in South Africa.

Musa Mseleku says he wants to change people's perceptions of polygamy. And he's getting some help - from his four wives.

The 43-year-old property developer, along with his wives and their 10 children, are the stars of a new reality show called Uthando Nes’thembu, external, which translates as "Love and Polygamy".

The series, which premiered 19 May, is consistently a top trending topic on Twitter in South Africa, with thousands of tweets debating the place of this traditional set-up in modern society.

The show is filmed at the Mselekus' rural homestead near Durban, in KwaZulu-Natal's south coast. The four wives each have their own house but share the land.

Media caption,

The wives go grocery shopping - but does it go to plan?

"One of the biggest misconceptions [about] polygamous lifestyles is that it is a culture which seeks to oppress women," Mr Mseleku tells BBC Trending radio. "That's one of the reasons we wanted to do the show, to allow people to see that it's not like that in our case. I want to show men that you can be in a polygamous relationship and also be a considerate husband."

However, not everyone agrees. While several people expressed their appreciation, external for the show, some feel that the lifestyle is indeed restrictive.

Some tweeters, mostly female, picked up on an episode where Mseleku insisted on a 17:00 curfew for his wives. They also have to ask his permission if they want to hang out with their friends or drink alcohol.

No alcohol, curfews & ask 4 permission to go out. Reminds me of my strict parents #UthandonesthembuImage source, Twitter @miss_puse
The wives have a 5pm curfew 😕 Not even teenagers have such a curfew at their parents home. #UthandoNesthembuImage source, Twitter / @karabo_mokgoko

"I believe that in each and every house, especially us as South Africans, we believe your husband is like your god," Thobile Mseleku, Musa's fourth wife, tells BBC Trending, "So you can't just do what you wish, unless he gives you his blessing."

Musa Mseleku adds that he also has restrictions imposed on him. He has to be home an hour earlier than his wives, he says, "so I can prepare for them all!"

Thobile and Musa have been married for nine years. When she met him, he already had two other wives, so she says that she knew what she was getting into. Her grandparents had also been part of a polygamous family.

She says that the four wives - the others are Busisiwe MaCele, Nokukhanya MaYeni and Mbali MaNgwabe - are like sisters and rely on each other for advice and help.

The four Mrs Mselekus holding hands.Image source, Mzansi Magic
Image caption,

The four Mrs Mselekus. Thobile (far left) says the women rarely have conflict and are "like sisters"

But the show, which explores how the four Mrs Mselekus balance their daily routine, careers (which include business and government jobs), household commitments and parenting duties, also shows the tensions within the family.

"Our biggest source of conflict is time," Thobile Mseleku says. "It can be frustrating if we're all going to go out together and one is ready and you have to wait for one of the other wives."

Time, adds Musa, is something he thinks about a lot.

"I try to make sure that I divide my time equally between the women and my children."

The whole Mseleku family including children pose for a photo in their gardenImage source, Mzansi Magic
Image caption,

Musa Mseleku says that his children are well adjusted and happy

In South Africa, polygamy, external - while not adopted by the majority of people - is not illegal, nor specific to a particular religion. It is most common among the Zulu ethnic group, and South Africa's President Jacob Zuma, himself a Zulu, has three wives.

Ndela Ntshangase, a lecturer in the school of Zulu studies at the University of KwaZulu-Natal, says that the polygamous unions in South Africa began to wane in the 19th century when white missionaries preached that conversion to Christianity entailed divorcing one's "extra" wives.

"British colonisers pushed [monogamy] down the throats of black people through taxes that rose for each wife, and land allocations with insufficient space for polygamous family units," Ntshangase says.

But can it work both ways? Would Musa Mseleku be OK with one of his wives taking another husband?

"No way," he laughs, "I would die!"

Thobile says her husband's attitude doesn't bother her.

"We chose this life. We chose him and him alone."

So is there room for a fifth wife?

"We are exploring that on the show," Musa says, "so keep tuned in."

Blog by Megha Mohan, external

You can follow BBC Trending on Twitter @BBCtrending, external, and find us on Facebook, external. All our stories are at bbc.com/trending.

Top stories

  • Live. 

    Two dead in Manchester synagogue attack, with suspect also believed to have been killed - police

    • 103857 viewing104k viewing
  • What we know about Manchester synagogue attack

    • Published
      23 minutes ago
  • Watch: Armed police at the scene of Manchester synagogue attack

    • Published
      1 hour ago

More to explore

  • What we know about Manchester synagogue attack

    Emergency services at the scene
  • How Taylor Swift made herself too big to fail

    Side-by-side portraits of Taylor Swift at different times in her career, under a 'BBC InDepth' logo. On the left, she has straight hair and wears a sparkly pink outfit, looking left. On the right, she is younger, has curly hair and wears a black sequined outfit, looking right. The background features a vinyl record design with star decorations.
  • Dame Jane Goodall revolutionised our understanding of our closest primate cousins

    Jane Goodall appears amongs the leaves of the rainforest holding a pair of binoculars.
  • Why BBC sent undercover reporter into a busy London police station

    Rory Bibb, a young white man with dark, curly hair, dressed in the uniform of Metropolitan Police civilian staff, a navy zip-up top with a badge saying "designated detention officer" and royal blue epaulettes. He is standing against a blank white background.
  • Should I use olive oil for frying? How to choose the right cooking oil

    A stock photo shows a woman pouring a big bottle of sunflower oil into a deep wok pan on an electric hob with cooking ingredients all around her and her kitchen cabinets and oven in the background.
  • Relief and new baby for asylum family of child suffocated in Channel crossing

    A newborn baby is carefully held up by his doting father, with mother in background
  • Why the US government has shut down and what happens now

    File image of the US Capitol building with a blurry sign in the foreground that reads "Stop Trump"
  • Surge in Ukrainian attacks on oil refineries sparks Russian fuel shortages

    A composite image showing a Ukrainian pilot using a drone. He is imposed over an image of a n oil refinery from which smoke is rising after a blast.
  • News Daily: Our flagship daily newsletter delivered to your inbox first thing, with all the latest headlines

    A promo promoting the News Daily newsletter - a graphic of an orange sphere with two concentric crescent shapes around it in a red-orange gradient, like a sound wave.
loading elsewhere stories

Most read

  1. 1

    What we know about Manchester synagogue attack

  2. 2

    Heart surgeon's failures contributed to multiple deaths

  3. 3

    Nirvana baby loses legal case over Nevermind album

  4. 4

    'African tribe' who camped in Scottish woodland evicted

  5. 5

    Eyewitnesses describe Manchester synagogue attack

  6. 6

    Hamas military leader in Gaza objects to ceasefire plan, BBC understands

  7. 7

    Tesco warns 'enough is enough' on business taxes

  8. 8

    Hackers say they have deleted children's pictures and data after nursery attack backlash

  9. 9

    Storm Amy upgraded to amber warning

  10. 10

    Unmasked: Secret BBC filming exposes hidden culture of misogyny and racism inside Met Police

BBC News Services

  • On your mobile
  • On smart speakers
  • Get news alerts
  • Contact BBC News

Best of the BBC

  • A heartfelt comedy exploring adoption and parenthood

    • Attribution
      iPlayer

    Added to Watchlist
    Trying has been added to your iPlayer Watchlist.
    Trying
  • Director Steven Spielberg shares the soundtrack of his life

    • Attribution
      Sounds

    Added to My Sounds
    Desert Island Discs has been added to your My Sounds.
    Desert Island Discs: Steven Spielberg
  • Unravelling the mysteries of the human brain

    • Attribution
      iPlayer

    Added to Watchlist
    Secrets of the Brain has been added to your iPlayer Watchlist.
    Secrets of the Brain
  • Paul Sinha is quizzed on crisps and cricket

    • Attribution
      Sounds

    Added to My Sounds
    Paul Sinha's Perfect Pub Quiz has been added to your My Sounds.
    Paul Sinha's Perfect Pub Quiz
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
  • Terms of Use
  • About the BBC
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookies
  • Accessibility Help
  • Parental Guidance
  • Contact the BBC
  • Make an editorial complaint
  • BBC emails for you

Copyright © 2025 BBC. The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read about our approach to external linking.