Warn children about porn earlier, teens say
- Published
Parents should to talk to children about online pornography and sexting as early as the age of eight or nine, young people say.
The Children's Commissioner for England worked with a group of older teenagers to create a guide on how parents could best deal with sex-related issues.
Studies suggest half of under-11s have seen pornography, so parents need to be ready to talk earlier, the panel said.
Such tricky conversations need to start before children get phones, they said.
A panel of young people, working with Commissioner Dame Rachel de Souza, shared their advice on the things they wish their parents had told them before they entered the online world.
The overriding message was that conversations needed to take place much earlier.
One young person said: "I feel like the best time for parents to have a conversation about porn is a bit earlier for boys than girls.
"From my experience of male friends, they definitely see porn earlier than my female friends. I mean like early - Year 4, Year 5, Year 6."
Another said: "At that young age you don't really know what's right and wrong and you just follow whatever you see on porn sites."
Many children stumble across pornography online accidentally, the report added.
Under the current law, it is illegal for shops to sell DVDs, videos and magazines to under‑18s, but there is a gap in the law around online pornography, which is freely available.
Calm approach
On sexting - the sharing of nude or sexually explicit images - the panel said young people shared these pictures and videos for a number of reasons, such as peer pressure, for validation and as a relationship milestone, as well as a result of coercion or manipulation.
Their advice was that parents needed to be careful not to jump to conclusions. One said: "A lot of parents might just blame the child instantly instead of trying to support them."
The report said: "Calmly ask your child open questions, and try to understand the context in which the picture/video was taken and shared.
"This will help you to work out how to respond."
Girls also told Dame Rachel about being sent porn by older boys at school.
"This can be scary and distressing and they would like to be able to talk to their parents about it.
"They also feel that parents of boys should be talking about why this kind of behaviour is not OK," the report said.
Online sexual harassment includes pressuring someone to share nudes, forwarding them to others or sending someone explicit content for which they did not ask.
'Slut-shaming'
It also means when someone is bullied using sexualised language - including body‑shaming and "slut-shaming".
Revealing someone's sexual history or sexual orientation, or making sexualised threats and taking pictures up skirts and posting this online are other pressures faced by youngsters.
Dame Rachel advised parents and carers to create a safe, judgement-free space to talk about such issues before a crisis emerges.
"It's better to do that before you hit a problem rather than trying to create that mood while you're dealing with one or discovering later that they hadn't felt able to tell you," she said.
"It takes a lot of bravery for a child to share their experiences of abuse or harassment. Parents and carers are telling me they want to match that bravery in getting to grips with these issues."
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- Published14 December 2021
