Amol Rajan: 7 lessons from my first series of University Challenge
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I was going to use the words "what I've learned" at the top of this article, and in fact I just did.
But given I bark out around 3,000 questions per series, and that I cannot in good conscience claim to have known all the answers before I read them out, I've learned so much that those words seem insufficient.
So let's just call these salutary lessons from my first series hosting Britain's longest-running TV quiz, University Challenge.
1. Young humanity is amazing
The overriding feeling from the experience is a profound respect, verging on awe, for the extraordinary young contestants.
They are all so impressive intellectually, of course; but beyond that, they are immensely charming, and so excited to have made the journey from their respective campuses.
There are times when certain students get in a zone where they seem to be giving correct answers before hearing the questions.
It is bewitching telly, and rather unsettling in the flesh. How can they know so much about the tools of the Mesolithic period and French kings and differential equations and the moons of Neptune?
Yet they do.
Often from humble backgrounds, or autodidacts, or both, the sliver of young humanity who take part in our quiz will instantly fill you with hope for the future.
Putting them to work in our fastest-growing industries could solve our productivity crisis at a stroke, and why our best companies don't have recruiters loitering at the studio door is beyond me.
But then I guess there's LinkedIn for that.
2. Roger is real
When I took part in the alumni series, I was astonished to discover that Roger Tilling, the legendary voice of the buzzer, is a real person in the studio, who does the names live.
Most new contestants similarly are shocked to meet him, not least because he's 6ft 5in tall.
He has a glorious, panoramic view of the studio from his slightly elevated perch just off-camera.
And here's a thing: in my whole first series, and indeed the many episodes I've filmed since, Roger must have bellowed out several thousand surnames, and more than 10,000 syllables.
He hasn't got a single one wrong. What a pro.
Curiously, he lives just yards from my parents' house in Tooting, so I probably walked past or near him for years.
3. It's Aitch
All my life I've pronounced it "Haitch", dimly aware that I was getting it "wrong".
Everyone I grew up with says "Haitch". My mates say "Haitch".
But, dear reader, I'm here to tell you: it's "Aitch."
This matters a lot to a lot of people, which is fair enough.
In the new series, starting this summer, you will hear me say "Aitch," although "Haitch" is actually listed as a variant in the Oxford English Dictionary, external.
By the way, apropos of nothing in particular, it's pronounced "bio-pic", not "bi-opic", for obvious reasons.
4. Viral potential is infinite
The "We need jungle, I'm afraid" phenomenon was the unforeseen glory of this first series, and contained a great lesson: this quiz has infinite viral potential.
I'd actually seen a couple of magnificent viral clips from previous series, when Jeremy Paxman was hosting.
But it was only when my answer about the distinction between drum'n'bass and jungle went viral that I realised that each question is a little narrative arc.
It goes: Question, change of shot, teams ponder, answer given... pay-off with laughter.
Each question is a little story, or joke, that could meet social media infamy.
Whether they lead to actual beers being invented and named after answers, external I give seems outlandish. But then it's happened, hasn't it?
5. Quizzes are format gold
Which brings us onto the brilliance of quizzes on television. What makes a successful TV format?
An emotional and moral journey, from exposition of plot to resolution, in which you get to know groups of people, with stand-out characters.
Ideally there should be warmth, and jeopardy. Quizzes provide all that.
Throw in a huge amount of satisfaction through learning, and the highly participative lean-in element, in which you can actually get involved by barking answers from the sofa and impressing your family, and you have TV gold.
Iconic music helps. And a good-looking studio, which is still way cheaper than, say, drama.
It's a wonder, frankly, that there aren't more of them.
6. Britain's best are in my ear
One thing I didn't know was that the host has not just a director but the series producer, and a questions producer or two in his ear.
I am really not exaggerating when I say the intelligence of these people is astonishing.
That they happen to be the nicest people you could ever meet just fortifies the privilege.
Series producer Clare Parody frequently has to make instinctive adjudications when, as is often the case, a contestant gives an answer that seems a marginal call, but isn't.
I don't mean by this, say, confusing a Monet with a Manet, which is clear-cut; but rather shouting "pass it across" to me when, with seconds to go in a tight match, a team has interrupted with the answer Atomic Emission Spectroscopy, when the answer we needed was Atomic Absorption Spectroscopy.
Obviously they are left occasional notes from the question setters; but I often feel that with Clare, questions producer Richard Gilbert (who won with Manchester in 2013) and senior question writer Tom Benson, there is no book they haven't read, or language they can't speak. Welsh, Russian, Japanese, Chinese, Spanish... and the rest: these guys have got it covered.
They are Britain's best, and they're in my ear, and head.
7. The teams don't sit on top of each other
You did know that right? Ok, ok, so did I. Though watching that legendary Young Ones sketch, external, I wasn't so sure.
I've been so heartened by the response to this series.
The show is still trending every Monday on Twitter, and growing fast on TikTok and Instagram, where I post the odd behind the scenes footage, external, and keep in touch with the students.
I have tried to bring something of my rapport with, and respect for, the students to the end of the show in particular.
Frankly, it's hard not to be respectful to such committed and remarkable young people, for whom knowledge is an end in itself.
Tomorrow's final showcases eight genuinely extraordinary young people, whose range of knowledge and intellectual dexterity is riveting, and humbling, television.
It's a thrilling match, and there's a star turn for the prize-giving.
Talking of which, we're debating who to approach for the prize-giving at the next final. If you have any ideas, message me on Insta - but only after you've seen how it's done tomorrow.
University Challenge: The Final is on BBC iPlayer and BBC Two at 20.30 on Monday 8 April.
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