Here's what to say to someone who stammers

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Alex ParsonsImage source, Alex Parsons

There are around 700,000 people in the UK who stammer - it's defined as a tense struggle to get words out.

And 29-year-old Alex Parsons knows exactly what that feels like.

"I've had a speech impediment for the last 26 years," he explains. "I was diagnosed when I was three, maybe four. Words just weren't coming out.

"There's that fear of people perceiving you as stupid. Because you can't do something that to other people is a basic fundamental," he says.

"There's no thought process to them of 'will I be able to say my name?'" he explains.

Alex always assumed he'd grow out of it - but he hasn't - and says it's at its worst when he knows he's going to have to speak.

Like, for example, ordering at the bar.

"I always joked I'd have 'one pint of lager' tattooed on my hand so I didn't have to say it - because that was terrifying."

And, how you help people who stammer is the key subject of the International Stammering Summit in London, which is taking place for the first time.

Experts want to raise awareness of the complexities of stammering and highlight the easy ways to make someone with a stammer feel comfortable.

Here's how to speak to someone who stutters

1. Be patient. Don't finish a person's sentences or "fill in" words. Most people who stammer strongly prefer to speak for themselves.

2. Don't give advice such as, "slow down", "take a breath", or "relax". Remember it is OK to stammer.

3. Be a good listener. Focus on what the person is saying, not how they are saying it.

4. Remember that stammering is not caused by nervousness. Keep in mind that the nervousness is a result of embarrassment about their stammering rather than a cause of it.

5. If you are not sure how to respond, ask the speaker - but always do this sensitively. Don't ask if they'd like to write down or draw what they want to say instead.

6. Bear in mind that some speakers might be uncomfortable talking about their speech.

7. Always be patient and give the person the opportunity to speak for themselves.

There's more advice at NHS Choices., external

Alex has come to terms with his stammer and says he now understands it's something you have to be at peace with.

"Don't try to be a fluent speaker. Just be content with who you are and accept that you are someone with a speech impediment," he explains.

He calls himself a "recovering stammerer" and there have been plenty of high-profile people who've talked about their own struggles with it too.

Ed Sheeran had one when he was younger and has talked openly about how he found rap music an effective remedy.

"It was quite a difficult thing. The thing I found most difficult was knowing what to say but not really being able to express it the right way," Ed told Hollywood Reporter., external

Image source, AP

Golfing world champ, Tiger Woods, has also talked about how his sport helped him overcome his stammer when he was younger.

And, Sicario actor, Emily Blunt, has talked about how grateful she is to a teacher who suggested she act in a school play despite her stammer.

Image source, Getty Images

The British Stammering Association, external says there's no magical cure for a stutter.

"Early intervention is key," says Norbert Lieckfeldt, the organisation's chief executive.

"Therapy at an early age gives a young child the best chance of complete recovery. If you stammer into adulthood, you will always stammer. But, you can learn to control it."

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