'I was crushed in seconds when my baby was stillborn'

Kayleigh Atkins' baby was stillborn at 35 weeks and one day.

On hearing that her little boy's heartbeat had stopped, the 21-year-old from Cardiff says she was crushed within seconds.

"Everything I ever wanted was gone", she says.

She'd been blogging about her pregnancy throughout and says she hopes sharing her story might help other people who are going through the same thing.

In October last year, Kayleigh was shocked but happy to find out she was pregnant.

"I'd always wanted to be a mum, nothing more. We were buying things for the baby at ten weeks, we bought the pram, it was way too early, but we were just so excited," she tells Newsbeat.

She went for first scan at 12 weeks, where medical staff told her the baby might have a hernia because the scan wasn't clear.

"They told me it was really common and it was nothing to worry about," she explains.

At the next scan, Kayleigh was told there might be chromosomal abnormalities. She was worried but determined to carry on.

"I remained positive, I would never have considered a termination, I was going to fight for my baby with every breath of my body, and I did," she says.

At 20 weeks, things were still looking good.

As a celebration, her mum Michelle decided to throw a baby shower.

"I cut the cake and it was blue inside. I cried my eyes out, I was having a little boy, I was so happy", says Kayleigh.

At 34 weeks, the atmosphere was different.

"The lady would normally show me the screen and say things like 'there's your little boy bouncing around' but this time there was nothing.

"The next thing I knew there was a hand on my leg and she said 'I'm so sorry' and I just knew."

The doctors told Kayleigh her baby's heartbeat had stopped.

"I was shown the screen, and I could see his heartbeat wasn't there" she says.

Charlie was stillborn at 35 weeks and one day, weighing 2lb and 8oz.

He is just one of fifteen babies that die every day in the UK, according to the stillbirth and neonatal death charity Sands.

"The delivery was fast, but the grief didn't hit me until Charlie was there. We were whispering as if he was asleep, and I just wished he might wake up and gasp for air," remembers Kayleigh.

Kayleigh and her family got 66 hours and 45 minutes with Charlie after he was stillborn.

"He was in my arms and I was kissing and cuddling him. No amount time will ever be enough with your child, but two days was certainly not enough. I'll cherish every single memory forever", she says.

Kayleigh now treasures her memory box full of Charlie's things and is taking maternity leave from being a care worker to recover and be around her family.

She also takes comfort from her blog. She initially started it because she thought it would be a positive pregnancy, but wanted to finish it so she could share her and Charlie's story with others.

"I hope that other people will read it, just to give them some hope and the faith to carry on."

Breaking the taboo

Heather Jane Coombs runs the Sands network that has been supporting Kayleigh.

She told Newsbeat: "It's not the order of things is it? Your grandparents dying can make sense, but a baby dying, that's out of the order.

"People brush stillbirth under the carpet and don't feel comfortable talking about it. We need to break down the taboos."

She points out people are never the same after losing a child and that the work of Sands tries to help people find a way to cope with their bereavement, at any stage of pregnancy.

"Losing a baby is a life-changing event that breaks your heart and your mind, but putting that back together with the support of people who have been through it themselves is one of the best ways to help."

Find us on Instagram at BBCNewsbeat and follow us on Snapchat, search for bbc_newsbeat