Coming out as bisexual to my football teammates

"I don't have anything to hide any more. Everything is great because I'm now just being myself."

Standing on the football pitch in a circle with his teammates, Jahmal Howlett-Mundle didn't know what the response would be when he decided to come out as bisexual to his teammates at Sheppey United football club.

"Maybe it'd be a bit of silence and some people might not accept me for me," the 24-year-old, semi-professional footballer tells Radio 1 Newsbeat.

But Jahmal's teammates were positive and supportive.

"When I heard the applause and positive reaction, I was lost for words. The fact everyone put their arm around me, I can't explain how elated I felt."

'I just felt free'

Coming out publicly was a decision Jahmal - also a full-time primary school teacher - had been thinking about for many years, but put off "because of the judgement" he thought he'd face.

With the new season approaching, he wanted to be open, so spoke with the manager and assistant manager, who were already aware of his sexuality, about coming out.

"They supported me along the whole journey, which was amazing. This is still quite surreal."

Jahmal feels it shouldn't matter how people live their life, regardless of the sport or industry they belong to

Before telling his teammates, Jahmal, from London, says it felt intimidating.

"But once I started speaking, I just felt free. With every word, I started to feel a lot more comfortable, I started to feel everyone was engaged and listening," he says.

"When one of the players said all the boys would support me, it was amazing to be honest."

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Historically, football has not always been seen as welcoming for the LGBT community, something that Jahmal understands.

"The footballing world can be disastrous. A lot of the time it can be met with backlash."

"I'm really relieved that I haven't faced any backlash or negative comments yet."

'I bottled so much up'

He feels football still has room for improvement, but campaigns such as Stonewall's Rainbow Laces and Harry Kane wearing a Pride rainbow armband at Euro 2020 have been important.

"I know how hard it can be to be in an environment where being LGBT is not something that's spoken about. There's always going to be people that turn a blind eye to any discrimination."

"So I'm hoping for myself and anybody else considering coming out that they are safe more than anything."

And it's been difficult over the years for Jahmal to not be able to express his true self.

"I felt I can't be a good family member or good friend, because for so many years I bottled so much up."

"I believe I'll play better, feel better and transmit more positive energy"

Jahmal thinks his decision to come out publicly will also help him be a better footballer.

"I have always given it my all. But I feel now I can express myself more on and off the field which is only going to be beneficial to myself and my team."

"I've always tried to be myself, but at the same time I've supressed a lot so I didn't believe I could be as happy as I am now," he adds.

'Powerful to share their truth'

Erin Williams, sports engagement manager at Stonewall, said it was "brilliant" to see Jahmal come out and hoped football clubs across the nation would use this opportunity to show support.

"It's always powerful to see someone share their truth, and will mean so much to all LGBTQ+ people to see someone proudly share the message that you don't have to choose between who you are and the sport that you love."

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