Cost of Living: How to talk to children about a budget Christmas

Christmas presents

If you are worried about how you will make Christmas special for your children during a cost of living crisis, you are not alone. After months of price rises, experts say it's normal to feel overwhelmed.

More than half of parents with children under 10 will spend less on presents, and 40% will forego their usual festive outings, according to a recent YouGov poll.

Here's some advice on how to manage children's Christmas expectations this year - and still make it a memorable one.

Ask children about their Christmas worries

"At this time of year it can feel like everything needs to be big and glossy and glittery but there's an opportunity here to reset the way your family does Christmas," says Laverne Antrobus, a consultant child and educational psychologist.

She advises parents and guardians to check-in with children about their Christmas worries - because they are likely to have overheard conversations between grown-ups if money is tight.

Preparation is everything, according to Ms Antrobus. If a child knows in advance that things will be different, they will be mentally ready for that on Christmas morning.

"I would say to children - 'we are going to do things differently this year' and that might also give you the room to say Santa is doing things differently too.

"The more you can present a very thought-through approach, the more comforting that is for a child."

Make a list of activities

Rather than focusing on what you can't do this year, she suggests that everybody in the household contribute to a list of things they'd like to do together.

"There is joy for children in even drawing up that chart - and in my experience, parents might be surprised at what their children come up with - going to the playpark all together, for example."

These lists could include things like making cookies or eating a special dessert, a night time walk with torches, or all sitting down under a blanket to watch a Christmas movie together with some popcorn.

"These are the things that generate the sort of childhood memories that become really important," says Ms Antrobus.

"What children say to me time and time again, is that having a parent who is present is gold dust."

Get crafty and spend time together

The advice resonates with single dad-of-three Stuart, who works three jobs to support his family.

This year they will forgo a Christmas tree to save money. Instead, they have been painting pictures of Christmas trees onto large sheets of paper, to be hung around the house.

"We put on Christmas music and it's special because we are spending quality time together," says Stuart, who lives on the Isles of Scilly.

Not having Christmas tree lights also saves on electricity and the activity takes the children away from their screens. The saving will be used for presents, says Stuart, though this year those will be scaled back too.

Stuart and his family are painting pictures of Christmas trees to hang on doors

Be honest about budgets

Ms Antrobus thinks the trickiest group could be 'tweens' - children between about eight and 12.

"You will have to be honest that you don't have the money for the present they most wanted, but that you can come up with a plan together to save up for it," she says.

This could mean opening a bank account for any Christmas or birthday money from relatives, or looking out for special offers in the new year, for example.

It gives them agency and a hope that things might change, Ms Antrobus explains.

Ash from Dorset has already been talking to her nine year-old son about budgets and has found it helpful to get him involved in the decision-making. She and her husband have cut their Christmas budget in half this year to avoid getting into debt.

"We don't know what the future might hold and we don't want our children to have the expectation that they're going to get loads for Christmas every year," explains Ash, who also has a one-year-old and a six-year-old.

The family have been leafing through a toyshop brochure together and discussing which two toys the children might like to have.

"They understand they won't get everything they want. It's teaching them a good life skill, not just for Christmas".

They will stick with chocolates in stockings rather than small gifts and the family are going to use their slow cooker to make a Christmas casserole with dumplings.

"It'll be easier, cheaper and give us back time to play with the children and enjoy the gifts they got, together - which is what they want the most", says Ash.