'Cool rooms' help parents cope with loss of child - report

Jess Herbert said the cool room allowed her to have good memories of being with her son

Bereaved parents are calling for more "cool rooms" to be made available to help with the grieving process after a child's death.

The facilities at children's hospices allow families to be with their child for a few days after their death.

A new report says the use of the rooms gives parents and siblings more time to process their emotions.

One mother, who used the room at Martin House Children's Hospice in Wetherby, said it had "made a big difference".

Jess Herbert's son Oaken, who had the rare genetic condition Edwards' syndrome, died two days after he was born.

She said spending five days with Oaken allowed the family, especially her young daughter Willow, to deal with his death.

"We didn't have to rush our goodbyes," she said.

"We didn't have to explain things to Willow in just an hour and then he was whisked away.

"We could come and go, we could talk to him, we could be together as a family."

Jess Herbert's son Oaken died just two days after he was born

New research from the University of York has found that allowing newly- bereaved parents to have extended time with their baby or child was "highly valued and had lasting benefits".

Prof Briony Beresford said parents had described using the rooms as "an utterly precious time".

"The key thing was that it delayed their separation from their child," she said.

"Parents described moving from a point where they really couldn't bear the thought of their child going to a funeral director to a point when they felt ready for it."

Cool rooms like the one at Martin House Children's Hospice allow bereaved families to spend time with their child

The rooms use air conditioning and chilled beds and cots to help preserve the body. They sometimes have accommodation attached where the family can stay.

Dan and Bethany's son Clay died during child birth in July 2020. The couple had to deal with their grief at the maternity hospital. Dan said they would have welcomed the use of a cool room.

"We'd just gone through what we'd been through," he said.

"We'd just come out of the labour suite. I was dripping with like sweat, tears, everything, and then obviously they're explaining how important it is that Clay remains cold, but yet you are on the fifth floor up in an old building which was red-hot.

"We wanted to hold our son but at the same time felt like we were doing him damage by doing that. Not something really you should have to be managing."

Dan and Bethany had to deal with the death of their son Clay without the use of a cool room

Parents interviewed for the report said all bereaved parents should have the opportunity to use cooling facilities provided by children's hospices.

The findings showed the use of cool rooms helped parents in the initial grieving process, "including accepting the reality of their loss, processing their pain, and mentally preparing for the changes their loss would bring to their lives".

Victoria Greensmith, from Martin House, said: "The cooled bedrooms give families a chance to say goodbye on their own terms, and time to process what's happened in a more personal space.

"It's also valuable for brothers and sisters to be able to see their sibling in a bedroom, as it's a less scary environment."

Cost of access 'challenging'

Dr Julia Hackett, who also worked on the study, said: "Whilst children's hospices typically offer their cooling facilities to any bereaved family... we know that parents not already known to a hospice may not always be offered this opportunity.

"However, increasing access to children's hospices' cooling facilities has its challenges, including the increased resources this would require.

"This, in turn, raises questions about whether the costs of these facilities should continue to fall exclusively on the charitable sector."

Ms Herbert echoed the report's findings, saying that using the room helped bereaved families "adjust to what's happened".

"I have memories, good memories of being able to be with him. It's made a difference, a big difference," she said.

Follow BBC Yorkshire on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Send your story ideas to [e-mail] or send video here.