The Voice: Grace Holden tells of opening up about her grief

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Grace Holden and her mum, ShirleyImage source, Grace Holden
Image caption,

Grace's mother Shirley was the root of her passion for singing

Grace Holden was just 13 years old when her mother, Shirley, died of cancer. After years of struggling to articulate her grief, Grace finally felt able to give voice to her pain in the most unlikely of settings - in front of millions of people on primetime television. Why?

"Talking about it always scared me," says 18-year-old Grace, who just a few weeks ago finished runner-up in The Voice UK.

"But after being on the show and opening up about it a little bit, it opened my eyes to how talking about it, as much as it's scary, once you've done it that first time, it gets so much easier.

"It's kind of like a weight lifted off your shoulders."

Grace Holden on the set of The Voice UK
Grace Holden
It was hard to talk about her on the show, but I think the fact that they didn't know her made it easier."
Grace Holden

Grace's mother was the root of her passion for singing.

Growing up in the family home in Thurrock, Essex, a young Grace would watch her mum singing at home.

And when the family discovered Grace too had an aptitude for singing, it was Shirley who encouraged her to audition for a production of Annie.

Grace landed a role in the ensemble. She was six years old.

"It all started from there," says Grace. "Mum just looked at me and asked if I fancied giving it a go."

One performance turned into another and for the past 12 years Grace has been with the same theatre school, becoming one of its teachers after she turned 16.

Image source, Grace Holden
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Talking about her feelings surrounding her mother's death has always been a struggle for Grace Holden

"Mum was always backstage, chaperoning, helping out with costumes," says Grace.

"She was the one they'd come to with costume ideas and stuff like that, which was always quite fun.

"Everybody knew her and loved her which is always really nice."

Shirley would be there at every show and audition from those earliest days with the theatre group to, eventually, the bigger performances in London.

Shirley was diagnosed with cancer when Grace was two years old.

"It was just a thing we dealt with," says Grace. "We got on with normal life, everything that me and my brothers ever wanted to do, she got us there.

"Even if she was feeling ill, she got us there. We just got on with it as normal life, because to us it was normal, we didn't know any different.

"It definitely impacted how she threw herself into everything, I think because we knew it was always going to be there we just thought to ourselves, let's make the most of everything we have together. Just throw ourselves into anything we can."

Image source, Grace Holden
Image caption,

Shirley would be there at every show and audition

About a week before her death, Shirley gave Grace some instructions from her hospital bed.

"She said to me 'make sure you carry on going. I know what you're like, you'll know it's a place that we went and you won't want to do it. So please, carry on. Because I know you love it'.

"So I carried on for her, and after a while I just thought, 'I'm so glad I did'.

"Every time I'm on stage she's the person I'm thinking of.

"My family and friends have been by my side through every knock-back," says Grace.

"I literally could not have asked for better support throughout this process and I know my Mum would have been right there with them.

"It was hard to talk about her on the show [The Voice], but I think the fact that they didn't know her made it easier. I love talking about my mum and keeping her memory alive.

"So when a stranger says, 'tell me about your mum', I'm like 'I will, no worries, I love talking about her'.

"She was such an amazing woman and if she can inspire someone, or help someone, even though she's not here, I will do that at any opportunity."

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The coronavirus pandemic made this year's series quite unlike any other.

Contact between contestants and their teams was limited and they were performing to the judges and the cameras rather than hundreds of people in a packed audience.

One highlight was a powerful duet she performed with her mentor Olly Murs.

"It was so weird to do such an amazing performance, we did it and that was the best we'd ever done it - and it was kind of like we just wanted to congratulate each other," Grace says.

Image source, Grace Holden
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"It was just so nice to know that Olly was happy with how it was all going - that boosted my confidence a lot," says Grace

Because of the coronavirus restrictions on set, Grace was unable to celebrate by sharing a hug with Murs.

"But they made sure that everyone felt amazing no matter what happened. And even though there was no contact with anyone, you still felt like it was normal," Grace says.

Their performance of "Rule the World" by Take That was broadcast as part of the live final on Saturday 20 March to more than 4.5m viewers.

She says the contestants are now planning their first ever get-together once restrictions allow.

"We kind of missed out on the social side of it," she says. "But it was just incredible anyway.

"And the fact that we did it during the lockdown, I think it kind of upped how proud we all were of the show and how incredible it came across."

"Right now, I think my plan is to push social media and get myself out there that way.

"One day, hopefully soon, I'll be able to release my own music," she says.

"The dream would be to one day have an album out there, but I'll start with a single, maybe an EP, and build from there."

Image source, Grace Holden
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"Olly is exactly how he comes across on TV and social media, he is just always energetic, when we were in the studio he was always doing something like making a face at someone or making a weird noise on the mic," Grace said

When it comes to opening up about grief, Grace's advice is to "feel how you need to feel".

"There's no right or wrong way or specific order you need to feel things.

"And if you need to talk about it, talk about it, with whoever that is. Whether it's a teacher, parent, friend, counsellor - just talk about it," she says.

"Because as much as it never goes away, and the grief will always be there, it gets easier the more you talk about it and the more you open up."

What would Shirley have made of Grace's appearance in The Voice?

"My mum would have been the same as all my family - just so proud of me. Knowing that definitely helped me to get through the competition," she says.

"Just knowing that she'd be happy with who I've become and where I've got to, it made the experience so much better."

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