Southend Sober Socials: 'You can have a blast without the booze'

Southend Sober Socials is a new weekly event in Essex is aiming to "normalise socialising" without alcohol

With Covid restrictions having eased in England, people are keen to get out and socialise. But a night out involving alcohol isn't for everyone, so how is a new weekly event in Essex providing a booze-free alternative measuring up?

'You don't need Dutch courage to socialise'

Michael Sargood set up sober events after finding it difficult to socialise with others after "they got merry"

Michael Sargood gave up drinking alcohol in March 2020.

It was a decision he made after drinking "too much" and seeing the impact it had on his relationships and mental health, he says.

But then after the first easing of lockdown, he says he found he "wasn't able to enjoy nights out after others were beginning to get merry".

"I wished there were cafes and music events I could go to on Friday and Saturday nights to socialise with others, have fun and make new like-minded friends but couldn't find anything locally," says the 39-year-old.

The booze-free events are designed to give people a chance to socialise and have fun without alcohol

So he posted on a local Southend Facebook group to see if anybody else would be interested in non-alcohol socials and was "inundated with supportive messages and offers of assistance".

He says a Facebook group he subsequently set up now has more than 250 members.

He launched the weekly Southend Sober Socials this month, the first of which sold out within three days.

They feature music, freshly-prepared non-alcoholic cocktails and monthly comedy. Yoga sessions are now being planned as well.

"As a society, we need to normalise socialising without the Dutch courage and prove to people that you really can have a blast without the booze," says Mr Sargood.

'People wanted to hear my songs'

Nate Doucette says there is a need for non-alcohol events

For musician Nate Doucette, Mr Sargood's inaugural alcohol-free event in Southend was a unique experience.

"Normally I play in front of a bunch of drunk people who want me to play Oasis songs but at the end of my set [at Sober Socials], when I asked what people wanted, they said they wanted to hear more of my songs.

"You wouldn't get that any where else, that was really encouraging," says the 19-year-old, who lives in the town.

"There was no-one speaking or talking over me performing, there were no loud noises, they were all silent, it was lovely."

The 19-year-old musician performed at the inaugural Sober Socials event

The sell-out event also provided an opportunity for the singer-songwriter, who has recovered from alcohol and drugs addiction himself, and others to socialise in a "safe space".

He says: "I think it's really important for the town, there's not enough sober events in Southend or in Essex."

The teenager, who will be studying at Southend Adult Community College from September, adds: "There was a good mix of people who were there to support the event, those who wanted a night off from drinking and people who wanted to feel safe socialising.

"There was a great vibe and the fact it sold out shows there's a need."

'I don't get the culture of going out to get drunk'

Gill Hardy says alcohol-free events have helped her to socialise

"I hadn't been out on a Saturday night for years," says Gill Hardy.

That was until the new alcohol-free nights started in Southend.

The 63-year-old has had her own journey with alcohol addiction and depression over the years, and was drinking four bottles of wine a day after a family tragedy in 2017.

But she has come through the other side and has not touched alcohol since.

"I can be happy without drink," says the grandmother.

"I don't understand the culture where people go out to get drunk."

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She says the booze-free events have been "great".

"It's been a big thing for me to go out on a Saturday night and each time I've thought 'I'm not going to go' but I've gone and I've really enjoyed it.

"We were able to have a chat, I've met some lovely people, I've formed some connections and it's brought a community together without drinking and that's brilliant.

"It would be great if it spread all over the country," she says.

'Every town and city should hold sober events'

Sonny Green gave up drugs and alcohol after becoming a father

Sonny Green has been alcohol and drugs free for three years.

Before he would use drugs and alcohol every day but gave them up after becoming a father.

Since giving them up, he says it has been "amazing".

He says events like sober events should be held in "every town and every city in the country".

"Then you're not under any pressure to drink," says the 26-year-old from Southend.

Mocktails are served at the sober socials

He says he believes there is a culture in England that creates that pressure.

"When I go out I have soda water and blackcurrant and people look at you and think it looks like cider, and I don't feel like I'm missing out or under any pressure to drink.

"You don't want people to say you're boring for not drinking or offer to buy you a drink."

'Alcohol-free events are a positive thing'

Alcohol coach Liz Sharpe welcomes booze-free events

The coronavirus pandemic has changed people's drinking habits, says alcohol coach Liz Sharpe.

She say she has been finding that more and more people turned to drink during lockdown.

"It became more and more socially acceptable to have a drink as it was a way of coping with the pandemic," she says.

"But as people rush to the pubs now they have reopened and people are getting to socialise again, people have acknowledged that alcohol has become a bit of an issue.

"So it's important to have a sober-safe environment where alcohol is not the focus and people can have a night out with a difference, it's a really positive thing."

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Ms Sharpe, who runs sessions in Southend and online, says although there are groups that help people with alcohol addiction, there is going to be a "growing emphasis" on what people can do as an alternative to going to the pub in the evening to socialise.

"The idea of it being a theme where people can go out and enjoy comedy and entertainment but not being in a pub or a setting with alcohol is really good," she adds.