Asian Single Parent Network: Helping South Asian lone parents combat loneliness

Founder Aruna Bansal said she wanted a place to go to and not feel lonely

Lone parenting is being blamed for leaving many South Asian people in London feeling "isolated and stigmatised", a support group has said.

Aruna Bansal started the Asian Single Parent Network (ASPN) in 2011 after two divorces from arranged marriages left her a single parent.

"I wanted a place for me and my daughter to go and not feel lonely," she said.

"There wasn't anybody who fully understood what I was going through."

Based in London, home to more one-parent households than Scotland and Wales combined according to the Office of National Statistics, ASPN was set up to create a safe space for single parents to meet.

It hosts a range of events, from 'walks and talks', boat parties and pizza nights to weekends away and group therapy sessions, and has hundreds of members across the country.

'My biggest battle was my family'

According to the Office of National Statistics. , South Asians are less likely than any other ethnic group to be a single parent household.

Salma Khan, a divorce coach who specialises in South Asian couples, said traditional values in Asian communities emphasised the importance of a strong family base and that deviating from this was often met with judgement and criticism.

"This can particularly impact women because they are often blamed if a marriage breaks down," she said.

Pictures from Aruna's second wedding in 1996

Salma explained that family bonds and tradition hold huge importance in South Asian communities and therefore many will remain in unhealthy, even abusive, marriages due to fear of judgement from family and friends.

Sonia, in her 40s, said: "It took me 12 years to go through with the divorce and I didn't have any family support for eight years of that.

"My biggest battle became getting my family on board."

She added: "Freeing myself from what I and the [Asian] community thought was the ideal situation was the best thing and I came out a happier person."

South Asians are less likely than any other ethnic group to be a single parent households

Sonia's 11-year-old son, who also attends ASPN events, said: "It's really nice because I get to meet other kids like me.

"There aren't many other people at school with one mum or dad but now I have friends who know what it's like."

'My friends and family left me'

Monica Bhutto, 27, said she was abandoned by her family and friends when going through her divorce.

"I have no support as a single mum. My friends and family left me because they didn't accept the divorce.

"They still pressure me to go back to my ex because they think it's a shame to raise a child as a single parent."

She said joining ASPN and seeing other South Asian single parents had both comforted and motivated her.

"Now seeing other parents, I feel like I can do this and I can survive."