The croquet grudge match that decides how River Nene is pronounced
- Published
For the past three years, two sporting teams have met for a grudge match with a difference. Is the River Nene pronounced "Nen" or "Nene"? Let the croquet mallets decide.
The third annual croquet match between Northampton and Peterborough is not your average regional derby.
At stake is the right to pronounce the name of a river the way they want to - for the next 12 months at least.
Because in Northamptonshire, the 90-mile (150km) River Nene is known as the "Nen". Over the border in Cambridgeshire, they call it the "Neen".
The Northampton croquet team won the inaugural match in 2021 - with Peterborough drawing level with a win in 2022.
This year, the rivals met on the lawn in the village of Roade, near Northampton, for tea, cake - and croquet.
"The one thing about croquet, it is an honesty-based activity. We don't have to enforce it - we trust people," said Paul Chard, from the Northampton club.
The bout began as villagers from both counties were emerging from Covid lockdown restrictions.
"Peterborough and Northampton croquet clubs don't actually compete in the same quadrant of the leagues," Mr Chard added, "but we're quite close - we're only an hour or so away from each other.
"We decided it would be good to have a social get together and to add a bit of an edge to it we decided to look for a theme."
The clubs decided the friendly rivalry over the pronunciation of the river was the perfect stake.
"In some of our electronic communications, we've now dropped into phonetic spellings rather than the actual spellings," Mr Chard added.
"This year has been another incredibly tight match - there's only a couple of hoops in it."
The teams play 12 games and two types: golf croquet (single ball shots to win hoops) and association croquet (break-making, like snooker).
"The one you see in the background in Downtown Abbey, or Poirot or programmes of that ilk," Mr Chard said.
He said the game offers gentle exercise and social interaction and that "tactics and strategies play a large part".
"It can have a reputation for being miserable, mean and vicious," he said.
Adrian Kirby, captain of the Peterborough team, said enforcing the result was "a matter of honour".
"The first time we did this, I thought: 'Maybe there's more than two pronunciations?'" he said.
"I looked it up and there's a state bird of Hawaii, called the Nene goose - pronounced nay-nay.
"I reckon at the start of match day we should all call it the nay-nay until the match determines the year's pronunciation."
The River Nene rises at Arbury Hill in Northamptonshire and flows through the county into Cambridgeshire, where it forms the border with Norfolk for a few miles, before reaching Lincolnshire and flowing into the sea at The Wash.
But who won the bragging rights?
This year, Peterborough successfully defended their 2022 win, so - for the next 12 months at least - the UK's 10th longest river will informally be known as the "Neen".
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