'I wasn't prepared for not being able to have sex after cancer'

Ellie Waters says she wants to break down the "taboo" over sex and cancer

A 22-year-old hopes to break down "taboos" after her cancer treatment left her infertile and unable to have sex.

Ellie Waters, from Kettering, had to go through 18 months of cancer treatment when she was 14, but because of her age she was not told about the long-term impacts it would have on her body.

She said: "Even when I was told that the radiotherapy would certainly make me infertile, it wasn't a problem for me at the time because I was focusing on surviving the next year.

"I was never prepared for potentially not being able to have sex."

'I didn't feel womanly'

The medical student had Rhabdomyosarcoma - a soft tissue sarcoma - which required nine months of intense radiotherapy and another nine months of treatment.

"I was given a 20% of surviving five years past my diagnosis, that's how grave the diagnosis was at the time, so I'm one of the fortunate few."

But what happened to her body after her treatment, she said, were "taboo subjects".

"When I was 15 I went into the menopause and then couldn't have sex either. It just felt like everything that life could throw at me was thrown at me, I didn't feel womanly at all.

"It was the hardest point of my life because something that felt so exciting and new and made me feel normal was robbed from me literally overnight. It took me such a long time to get over that loss."

Ellie said she was in "grief... realising that I'll never be able to have sex in the way I want to again".

'Not enough support'

She said: "Over time I've just accepted it. I've been to a counsellor, I spoke to them about it, I spoke to my friends and family about it as well.

"Making it less taboo has helped me because I'm able to talk to people about it and get support from others.

"I focus on what I can do, not what I can't. I realised it is important to still remain sexually active, just in your own little way and I've been able to do that."

Ellie has been working with Macmillan Cancer Support to raise awareness of the difficulties around sex and relationships for people affected by cancer.

She said the situation "has been very difficult to deal with and I feel like there's not enough support in place for those who do have sexual dysfunctional after cancer".

"We have to live with this body for the rest of our lives, and it is not acceptable that we are having to live with all these problems and with little support for those problems," she added.

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Tracey Palmer, from Macmillan Cancer Support, said: "For many, sex and intimacy following a diagnosis is a huge concern and thousands of people with cancer are suffering in silence, causing a huge amount of stress and anxiety.

"We need to start talking more about sex and the very real impact cancer can have on people's sexual wellbeing and relationships."

She said support from charities such as Macmillan Cancer Support can help when "people find it hard to raise these issues with their partner or people close to them".