Romance scams: Fake sailor told me 'You must help, she's dying'

The fraudster told Lisa his daughter was dying to persuade her to send cash for hospital treatment

A woman who fell for a romance fraud that "emotionally blackmailed" her out of £63,000 has said it will affect her for the rest of her life.

Lisa, who does not wish to give her full name, believed she was sending cash to a Royal Navy sailor she had met on a dating site.

He claimed his daughter would die if Lisa did not fund her surgery.

"They know how to pull every single string to emotionally blackmail you," said Lisa, who lives in Suffolk.

"They are so manipulative."

'Got into my heart'

Lisa said she had joined a "premium" version of a dating website and began chatting online to a widower with "similar interests and values".

After weeks of exchanging emails, the fake profile asked Lisa for cash for a birthday present for his daughter.

"He had really got into my heart, he had been sending me poems every single morning," she said.

"Not one iota did I suspect this was the start of setting me up for a lot more money."

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Soon after, she agreed to fund his daughter's £1,500-a-month school fees in Dubai when he claimed his account had been frozen while he was on a deployment.

"The requests became much more demanding and he emotionally blackmailed me," she said.

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"He claimed his daughter needed to go to hospital and I said 'I haven't got the money for it'.

"He told me 'you need to do something, she's dying, I've got no-one to turn to, please help me'."

Lisa sent him £5,000 and further money which she believed would pay off taxes on his wife's inheritance.

After seven months, Lisa told a friend, who contacted police.

The sailor did not exist, but the photos used to convince Lisa were found on the Facebook profile of a "completely innocent" man in the Royal Navy.

'Shame and embarrassment'

"It was only at that point that I knew I had been completely and utterly duped," she said.

"I was completely devastated. The shame, the embarrassment, the stupidity, the devastation of losing the money.

"It will affect me for the rest of my life."

Eighteen months on, whoever scammed Lisa has not been found.

Suffolk Police said there had been 79 reports of romance or dating fraud in Suffolk in the past 13 months, with losses of more than £900,000.

Det Ch Insp Nicola Wallace said: "[Criminals] will spend hours researching you for their scams.

"They will invent lies about needing medical treatment, or urgent travel expenses to leave a country, or funds to keep afloat after a bogus job loss caused by the pandemic.

"It's important to be aware that not everyone is who they say they are."

Where to go for help

• Victim Support offers free, confidential advice via Supportline on 08 08 16 89 111 and/or live chat

• My Support Space is designed to help manage the impact that crime has had on individuals

• Scams can be reported to Action Fraud