'Our lives changed forever when we caught fire'
- Published
Warning: This article contains graphic images.
One year ago, cousins April and Ashleigh Charlesworth went to their local pub for April's birthday.
It was meant to be an evening of celebration - their first night out after lockdown - but it quickly became the worst night of their lives.
Ashleigh was chatting to April when she saw a flicker of a flame out of the corner of her eye. The next thing she knew, they were both on fire.
A man had thrown ethanol on a heater at the pub in Great Cornard, Suffolk, causing the bottle of fuel to explode just a few feet from where they were sitting.
Being a nurse, 28-year-old Ashleigh knew to stop, drop and roll to put the flames out. April says she just panicked. "When you're in that situation you just don't know what to do."
Ashleigh instinctively put her hands up to her face to protect her eyes, which left her hands badly burned.
As Ashleigh screamed and rolled around the floor, April was taken to a toilet to splash water on her face, unaware that her cousin had also been injured.
April remembers looking in the toilet mirror and seeing her blistered and bleeding face but thinking she was fine.
"It just wasn't real. I kept saying 'I'm OK. I want to go home and see my son'," the 29-year-old says.
People at the pub went to help Ashleigh, who was now face down on the floor. They turned her over to find she had no skin on the right side of her face.
The cousins were rushed to separate hospitals and did not see each other for a month.
During that time they were both put on a ventilator, in an induced coma. When Ashleigh woke up, she heard her boyfriend talking about April being injured but couldn't ask how she was.
"When I was able to speak, the first thing I said was 'where is April? how is April?', and my partner said 'she's alive'," Ashleigh says.
Ashleigh's chest was badly burnt and she had a skin graft on her hands, where they took skin from her thigh, while April was given donor skin for her chest, arm and neck.
All of the mirrors were covered up while they were in hospital and they were both terrified of seeing their faces.
It was only when Ashleigh caught sight of her reflection in a tablet screen that she started to accept what had happened.
"I pressed the bell and the nurses came over and I was a sobbing mess. But at least I had seen it. So I sent a photo of my face to April.
"I wanted her to know it's not just her, we're both in this position together," she says.
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April meanwhile was really struggling. "The pain was unreal, I remember saying to my mum, 'I don't want to be here any more'," she says.
The thought of her eight-year-old son Franklin at home was the only thing that kept her going.
April couldn't bring herself to look at the photo her cousin sent for a long time. She didn't see herself in a mirror until she was discharged, when she was reunited with her cousin.
"We just cried and hugged each other," April says. "We couldn't believe we were finally together."
But the cousins say it was once they got home that they reached their lowest point. Ashleigh felt lonely in her flat and suffered what she calls survivor's guilt. She kept replaying the fire in her mind.
April's son was too scared to come near her and wouldn't sit next to her on the sofa for several months.
'I used to love my smile'
Both women struggled to come to terms with their facial scars.
"The worst thing is that we can't smile properly. I loved my smile before this. That really gets to me," Ashleigh says.
They decided to start taking anti-depressants, which they say have hugely helped their recovery. Ashleigh went back to work just seven weeks after the fire, and also returned to the gym. She had to give up her job as a children's nurse and now works for NHS 111.
"I started to realise that we may not look like we did but there is nothing we can do about that," she says. "That was me before and this is me now and there is no point looking at photos from beforehand."
April didn't leave the house for months until her son suddenly said one day that he wanted her to go and feed the ducks with him.
"That was the start of things getting better for me. I don't think I would even be here if it wasn't for him," she says.
The cousins decided to start sharing their recovery on Instagram and TikTok. They started to get messages from other burns survivors and people with scars and birth marks.
"It helps them be able to post their first picture or go out of the house, because I've shown they can do it," April says.
They both have laser treatment every six to eight weeks, and often get questions from other people about to have the procedure.
The police investigation is still ongoing but April and Ashleigh are really trying to put the incident behind them.
The cousins say they are glad to have had each other to lean on over the last year and have been able to "get through it together".
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They have recently started leaving the house without any make-up on - something they never did even before the fire - and say they are slowly feeling more confident.
Both women have had support from The Katie Piper Foundation, external, which was set up by the TV presenter Katie Piper after she was attacked with acid.
The cousins have decided to climb Scafell Pike on 30 April to raise money for the foundation, which provides therapy and physio for survivors of burns and people with scars.
"I didn't want to sit here on the anniversary of the explosion [on 24 April] and think 'what have I done'. Now we can look back and know we have achieved something and turned it into something positive," Ashleigh says.
Reflecting on the last year, the cousins acknowledge it has been the most difficult one of their lives. Ultimately it has changed them forever and they feel proud of themselves for surviving it, they say.
"So many of our friends and family have stayed with us throughout our recovery and supported us but realistically we need to do it ourselves," Ashleigh adds. "No-one else is going to push us forwards but we will get there, together."
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