On the hunt for the lost Covenant page

Anyone with the misfortune to have come across me in the flesh will know that any parallel I draw between myself and Harrison Ford is purely for comic effect.

But if Indiana Jones devoted a lucrative blockbuster to the trail of the lost Ark of the Biblical Covenant, then I now find myself, rather less spectacularly, on the hunt for the lost page of the Ulster Covenant.

Since Thursday's report a few leads have emerged. The first page of the Covenant has variously been stolen by the UVF, lost in a fire in a snooker hall, blown up in an explosion at Belfast City Hall, or on the wall of an Orange Hall in County Tyrone. We are still trying to confirm that last report.

I've also been reminded of past thefts from the Public Record Office, although I should point out that in their statement, the Record Office insist they never had the missing document.

I am discounting one claim that the missing page is hidden underneath Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but am keen to make a small diversion by exploring the history of the ink well into which Carson dipped his pen. Feel free to keep the clues coming as I continue my quest for the missing ten signatures.