Coronavirus: 'I didn't want her dying on her own'

'I didn't want her dying on her own'

By Marie-Louise Connolly
BBC News NI Health Correspondent

Siobhan Brammeld treats the residents of Massereene Manor care home in County Antrim like members of her own family.

Siobhan is a care worker who leads the social care team. She has sat with several residents as they passed away having contracted Covid-19.

She told BBC News NI she was convinced some residents had "died before their time".

Several days before our interview took place two residents died within 12 hours of each other.

"I feel as though I am on autopilot - it never leaves my head. Sometimes I worry that I could have done more," she said.

"These are sad times, scary times too," she added.

Referring to the female residents as her "wee ladies", Siobhan recalls one particular grandmother who passed away.

"I came in specially to sit with her on my day off. We knew she was dying," she said.

"I played music and stroked her hand and forehead.

'Never going to see her again'

"She had always taken care of her appearance so another care worker and I tonged her hair, painted her nails and put perfume on her.

"I sat with her all day. I wouldn't let her die on her own. When she did pass it was just so terribly sad."

When asked why she did it she said, "because I love each and every one of them."

"It is so hard for the families. I have to turn away when we FaceTime them with their relative," she explained.

"They are saying to their mum, 'I love you' and they are never going to see her again.

"Once they leave the home in the coffin that is it," she added.

Six residents have died in the home with Covid-19. Those are the cases that have been confirmed, staff believe there have been more.

'Didn't want them to die before their time'

Siobhan told me staff felt not enough was done to prepare them for the pandemic and that workers like her were left to the side.

"I feel we were left on our own. We as workers were forgotten about as well as the wee residents," she said.

"At the start of all this I just wanted to scream at somebody - could someone please come and help these wee residents? I just didn't want them to die before their time."

"I watched what was happening in other countries and you knew it was coming, but there didn't seem to be an awful lot happening to prepare us."

To date the care home has also dealt with more than 20 positive cases.

For staff like Siobhan the care is challenging, especially as the residents are men and women with dementia, who do not understand what is going on.

'Testing would have made such a big difference'

She feels strongly that some in her care home died "before their time."

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"They are elderly, frail with dementia. Some died before their time, definitely," she said.

"They had no way of describing their symptoms and at the start we just didn't know what exactly we were dealing with," she added.

"Testing would have made such a big difference as we would have known those residents had Covid, we would have known who had it from an earlier stage which would have prevented it from spreading."

"As staff we knew if we were feeling unwell and could speak to our manager.

"Then we took time off and got tested. But for the wee residents sure they didn't know what was going on as some didn't have a cough or a temperature and could not communicate how they were feeling. "

'We are regarded as family'

Siobhan told BBC News NI she is living in fear of contracting the illness, bringing it home and even bringing it into the care home.

"That's why all staff need tested and frequently. Sure I might not have it today but I could show positive in a few days.

"I wear the PPE, but I just don't feel safe. I'd feel so guilty bringing it in here," she said.

Siobhan has attended funerals of residents where numbers are strictly limited due to social distancing rules.

"That's hard too. We are honoured to be included in the 10 people standing there but that just shows you how close we are and how much we are regarded as family."

BBC NI's health correspondent Marie-Louise Connolly and cameraman John Morrissey were given exclusive access to Massereene Manor Care home in Antrim.

The BBC supplied its own PPE.

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