Mother speaks out against suicide forum after son's death

Luke O'Hara had accessed an online suicide forum before taking his life

Warning: This story discusses suicide issues which some may find upsetting.

"This is my nightmare as a mother, my heart is breaking every day."

Julia McKeever's son, Luke O'Hara, was found dead in his flat on 25 February after taking his own life.

After his death, she discovered her 25-year-old son had used an online forum to access information about suicide.

The Portadown mother wants action taken against such websites.

"If I don't speak out there's going to be more mothers like me," she told BBC News NI.

Ms McKeever said she wanted the government to take action against websites that are accessible to vulnerable people.

Julia McKeever wants the government to ban so-called suicide forums after her son ended his life

"It is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life."

After being unable to contact her son for several days, Ms McKeever went to Luke's flat with his father and his two brothers, Armagh I reported.

"He wasn't picking up and wasn't answering, I knew something was wrong because he never went this long without contact," she said.

She called the police who arrived and broke into Luke's flat where they found his body.

Police officers, a forensics team and fire service personnel asked them to leave the flat so they could establish what had happened.

"I became distraught and started screaming, I was told I must've screamed for about 20 minutes but I don't remember it."

'No-one talked you out of it'

She took her son's laptop home and found emails that showed he had signed up to an online suicide forum.

She was able to reset his password and on gaining access to his account she saw that he had posted 19 messages in the forum.

"I never imagined websites like that existed. I thought things like that would be on a black web but it was accessible as a normal website," she said.

"Some of the messages were from people asking Luke how he was feeling and if they could help him, but no-one ever really talked you out of it.

"They were nearly encouraging each other saying: 'We're sorry this is how far you've come but we wish you luck on your journey.'"

She wrote a post explaining who she was and asked to speak with anyone her son had been in contact with but she was blocked from the website.

'Checks aren't thorough enough'

Julia said her son signed up to the forum on 9 January, the month before his death.

She said the website had a disclaimer stating it was only accessible for people aged over 18 and provided a number for a Samaritans helpline but "the checks aren't thorough enough".

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As the website is operated from outside the UK there was little the police could do, she added.

"I'm still dealing with my own grief, but there has to be something done about this," she said.

"It can't be readily online for vulnerable people, my son was vulnerable, so my next step is to take it as far as I can in my son's name.

"My child is gone and I can't go and hug him and tell him 'we could've got you help', so if I can stop someone else's family from dealing with this then I'm willing to do it."

Julia said she was not aware these types of dangerous websites existed

Her son, Luke, was diagnosed with autism when he was 12-years-old.

She said his condition had taken a toll on his mental health and this had worsened during lockdown.

"He was highly intelligent but unfortunately he had social issues, so going out to do things and be with people, that wasn't Luke, he was very much introverted with autism," she said.

"I knew Luke was frustrated at times on how he was as a person and how the world would see him.

"He knew that he was different, but he never really wanted to acknowledge he was autistic."

'We can get help'

Julia said she wants to "remove the stigma of talking about suicide" in the hope it will help other parents to talk to their children who are dealing with mental health issues.

"People are fearful of saying the word suicide, it's hidden, so people who are suffering with mental health and thinking of this, it's to get awareness to say, 'it's ok to feel this way', so we can deal with that and get help," she said.

"I understand parents don't want to come out and say it because it's heart-breaking, you go through the guilt that maybe you could've done something, could I have changed the outcome?"

A spokesperson for the Department for Digital, Culture, Media & Sport said: "Online images, videos or comments encouraging suicide are illegal and companies must put strong protections in place so people are not exposed to this vile content.

"Our Online Safety Bill is UK-wide and will put a duty of care on tech companies to protect users and search engines will need to minimise the risk of users accessing suicide content.

"Those failing to act could face huge fines or having their sites blocked."

The BBC Action Line has details of organisations offering information and support if you, or someone you know, has been affected by mental health issues.