Bereavement: 'I have such a fear of losing another child'

Katrina said her daughter Lucy Jane will always be a part of their lives

"The trauma that I have been left with now is I have such a fear of losing another child and that stays with you every day."

These are the words of Katrina O'Neill, a County Tyrone mother who lost her daughter Lucy Jane in 2012 at just 23 days old.

Kate Corrigan and Edwina Thompson Clarke also share in the pain of losing a child.

They are supporting each other as part of a new group called Child Loss Matters to help bereaved parents talk about their experience of losing a child.

Katrina said her family was complete when Lucy Jane was born.

"When she came into our lives it was just perfect."

She explained how her death was very traumatic after she had to be rushed to hospital.

"I just knew there was something wrong.

"Your life went so quick from being so perfect, to just a complete sham.

"You do realise after the year passed people do forget about her, that she even existed in our lives, but she'll always be a part of our lives."

She has kept Lucy Jane's clothes, her blanket and celebrates her birthday every year.

'Blue-green eyes'

Kate Corrigan's son Nathan died in a car accident, along with two of his friends on the A5 road in Garvaghy in December 2021.

"It's coming up to eight months and at the time I didn't think I could survive eight minutes," she said.

She described Nathan as a "happy-go-lucky child" who loved farming.

'I just remember him as a very young child. He had pure white blonde hair, tanned skin, lovely bluey-green eyes.

Kate said Nathan as a young child had blonde hair, tanned skin and lovely bluey-green eyes

"I have lots of precious memories.

"I remember him up in his bedroom drawing away at wee farm pictures and then as he got older his real social life, there would always be groups of friends calling for him," she told the BBC.

She recalls the moment the police came to her door to tell her that her son had died.

'My blood ran cold'

"I could see the police uniform through the glass in the door."

"Are you Mrs Corrigan?"

"My blood ran cold - It's just your worst worst nightmare," she said.

Big personality

Edwina Thompson Clarke lost her son Darryl when he was struck by a vehicle in 2018.

"Anyone that has lost a child will know what it is like, it is horrendous," she said.

"It's a million times worse than what you could imagine it to be," she added.

Edwina described Darryl as having a big personality and lit up every room he walked into.

"I remember the last day he was here he came swinging into the kitchen, like he was sort of dancing and zipping up his hoodie: 'Well ma what's that like?'

"I just turned around and was like, Darryl you're just gorgeous."

Edwina said her son Darryl lit up every room he walked in to

'There has to be something'

Edwina said she wanted to start the support group because she knew other parents who had lost a child.

"In November, a relative of my husband's son died by suicide. All I could think about was what she had to go through and what was ahead of her and then Nathan's mummy, Kate, same thing, six weeks later."

"I was just thinking what those mummies had to deal with on their own and I thought there has to be something."

"If you speak in the group everyone there understands exactly what you mean and what you are saying, there is a connection between us all."

The three mothers wanted to start the support to help other bereaved parents

Kate said being a part of the group has been very positive for her.

"It's helping me in so many ways to talk about my experience.

"It's not easy and it's not getting any easier, I still have good days and bad days.

"You might get up and everything is going fine and then something just comes over you, you just get this feeling, this loss."

Remembering our children

Kate said it is important for people to not be afraid to talk to parents who have lost children.

"Don't be worried about upsetting us, I love it when people mention Nathan.

"We want our children remembered."

The Omagh-based group meets on the last Saturday of every month and about 30 people come along to it.

If you've been affected by anything raised in this article, details of where to get help and support can be found on the BBC Action Line website.