Pat Nevin: My son's autism wasn't a secret
- Published
Football pundit and former player Pat Nevin did not speak publicly about his son's autism for three decades
Former Scotland footballer Pat Nevin says his son's autism was never kept a secret.
But, until recently, it was never public knowledge.
While the winger starred for Chelsea, Everton, Kilmarnock and Motherwell during the 80s and 90s he was concealing the struggle of supporting his son in an era when people were not so aware of the condition.
The family has always kept that battle under wraps, until now.
Nevin, now a successful TV and radio pundit, told BBC Radio Scotland that it was never a decision to hide Simon's condition.
Speaking on the Mornings programme, he said: "People ask if it was a secret, was it hidden? No. It was just a private thing within our family.
"My wife and I felt that Simon would decide when he is ready, if he wants to talk about the fact he is autistic.
"At the time, lots of journalists - the Scottish sports journalists - would meet Simon and ask if they could do the story.
"We said we can't stop you but we would rather you didn't, but not one of them did that story. I have a huge appreciation for that."
Simon, now 33, is more comfortable with his autism and his father decided the time was right to talk about it.
In his new book, Football And How To Survive It, Nevin speaks for the first time about the devastation of the diagnosis, the feelings of loss for the child they thought Simon could have been, the need for routine, and meltdowns in public.
Nevin won 28 caps for Scotland during his career
He describes a feeling of "drowning" while learning about a condition people did not understand.
"It was an unknown quantity then. People didn't know what it was," he said.
"I wanted to share now because I wanted to show people what my wife Annabel had gone through in that whole period. That when you are shouting at a footballer or whoever in the public eye, you really don't know what they are going through behind the scenes.
"They might be suffering or putting up with things or dealing with things you don't know about. It's just to make an understanding that everyone is human, especially in a more toxic age when social media can be a bit vicious."
Nevin, 59, enjoyed success at club and international level while dealing with Simon's diagnosis and condition.
He is keen to stress that being parents to an autistic child brings its trials but also a lot of joy.
"Simon lives with us and will always live with us. And he has done really well, working as a driver taking special needs kids to school. He loves going to gigs.
"In some ways he has surpassed expectations and carved out his own life with his own achievements.
"I remember the day he passed his driving test - it was better than any goal I ever scored by a million miles."
'He has found a home at Hibs'
Nevin says football has played a positive part in his son's life.
Like his dad, Simon is a diehard Hibs fan, and the club has welcomed him in.
"He has found a home there and football clubs have always been great for that."
He also admits that neurodiverse people have always been there, whether the public recognised it or not.
"If you go to a football match early, you will see people who are neurodiverse - two hours before the game, hanging out for autographs.
"All the autism cliches - love numbers, routine - you get all that in football. You also get community. "
Pat Nevin said football clubs have always provided a community
He says that all this shows that football is an increasingly understanding environment. And that, thankfully, society is changing.
"Clubs have special areas now - areas that we never had when Simon was younger.
"We weren't able to go to a game - it was sensory overload."
Nevin says he has learned to listen, and he often helps other parents who are coming to terms with an autism diagnosis.
He just hopes he can help progress the cause and its acceptance.
"I will always go and talk to parents if I can. I want those parents to walk out with a smile on their face.
"There will always be difficulties but you only get one life so we have to enjoy the bits we see."