Long Live My Happy Head: Brain tumour cartoons brought to life in film

Gordon Shaw has a brain tumour and he is dying. But in the 10 years since he received the terminal prognosis, the 42-year-old Scottish artist has drawn cartoons to help explore his emotions about the cancer.

Now his artwork has been brought to life as animations in a documentary called Long Live My Happy Head, which airs on the BBC Scotland channel on Sunday.

The feature length film begins in 2019 when Gordon was using his art to educate people about cancer.

It follows him for three years as he navigates increasingly difficult diagnoses and treatments, as well as the enforced solitude of the Covid pandemic.

In Long Live My Happy Head, the filmmakers combined Gordon's cartoons with their footage to tell his story

Gordon studied art in Edinburgh but was working in hospitality in London when he had his first seizure and discovered he had a tumour at the age of 32.

He began to process his thoughts about the life-limiting cancer through drawing cartoons, and created a persona for his tumour, which he called Rick.

"It was my own kind of art therapy, I think," he told BBC Scotland. "I was maybe hiding from myself."

Gordon's family persuaded him to return to Scotland and he settled in Leith, meeting his US-based partner Shawn Puller in 2017.

In one of the cartoons animated in the film, Gordon imagines the sounds of the MRI scanner morphing into techno music, and later uses this idea to help others find the medical procedure less daunting.

In the comic, Gordon imagined the MRI scanner as horizontal techno music with no dancing

He made three comic books based on how his friends and family lived with cancer, and then published Bitter Sweet - on which the film is based - where he opened up about his own experiences.

"I could educate these other people and at the same time I could speak about myself, I could finally do that about myself, which was quite a lot for me," he said.

Shawn, who splits his time between Bath County, Virginia and Leith and is now Gordon's carer, is proud of the artistic legacy his partner is creating.

"It just so amazing because he's such an amazing guy and such a beautiful soul, and then to have him just put that into the world and see that it's making a difference in other people lives - it's a big deal," he said.

The Covid pandemic was especially difficult for the couple because not only was Shawn unable to travel to Scotland, but Gordon was particularly vulnerable to the virus and spent months in isolation.

He spent his 40th birthday in May 2020 alone.

It was a poignant milestone made more significant as brain tumours kill more people under the age of 40 in the UK than any other cancer.

Shawn is proud of the legacy his partner, Gordon, is creating

But his friends organised a surprise party on Zoom, then fundraised to pay for Shawn to travel first class to Scotland and isolate before seeing Gordon.

Since then his health has deteriorated as the tumour has grown, despite rounds of chemotherapy and brain surgery in November 2021.

The light-heartedness in the comic books is also a fundamental part of the couple's relationship.

"Humour is a massive part of our relationship, it has to be," Gordon said.

Shawn added: "Even faced with the difficulties of life there is hope and humour and love, and I guess that's the stuff that holds us all together."

Gordon has been working on a comic book about the experiences of unpaid carers, told in their own words.

The stories and illustrations are already being used by the Open University, but Gordon hopes someone will be able to take it on and finish the book after his death.

Long Live My Happy Head is a Melt the Fly production, funded by BBC Scotland and Screen Scotland. It will be shown on BBC Scotland at 21:30 on Sunday 27 March.

Carers' stories and the artworks they inspired will be available to view on bbc.co.uk/happyhead by following links to The OU.