I was abused in care - why has nothing changed?

Holly Hamilton was groomed and sexually abused while in a secure care unit in Edinburgh

A woman who was sexually abused in secure care in Edinburgh 16 years ago has expressed dismay over a report last week which showed the system is still failing vulnerable children.

Holly Hamilton was just 14 when she met Gordon Collins - a man of about 50 who would eventually groom and abuse her.

It was a distressing time in her life which began with her parents' separation. Her father was in jail and her relationship with her mother was fraught, so authorities placed her in Northfield children's home in Edinburgh.

Amid the upheaval, Holly was using drugs and drinking heavily. She argued with care home staff, had been arrested and was prone to self harm. On one occasion, she attempted suicide - a low point which led to her being moved to St Katharine's secure unit for her own safety.

Meanwhile Collins, a carer in Northfield and latterly St Katharine's, appeared down-to-earth and easy to talk to.

"He actually seemed to care," said Holly. "He'd play pool with you, take you out for ice cream - and he had this authority about him.

"But he'd read my files and would bring up those things saying 'I know nobody is around for you, I'm here for you'."

'It has to stop, it doesn't feel right'

For a period of months around 2006, 15-year-old Holly believed she and Collins were in a relationship.

Within the secure unit, she required an adult to supervise her wherever she went - be it the gym or to the laundry. More often than not, she said Collins would be the one to accompany her.

"He made me feel very grown up," she said. "We spent quite a lot of time together just ourselves.

"He started off slowly giving me a hug, or general chit chat. Then it moved on to a kiss on the cheek or on the head.

"It progressed to him kissing me on the mouth and biting my neck. He put his hands up my top, down my bottom half and did this horrible thing where he would grind up against me."

Throughout the abuse, Holly said Collins would remind her not to tell anyone or she would be moved from St Katharine's.

Holly said she became anxious, aware that what was happening was wrong. When she attempted to put a stop to it, she said Collins broke down in tears.

"He had come into my room and pushed me up against the wall," she said. "I told him it has to stop, it doesn't feel right. I said 'you're too old'.

"He basically started crying, saying 'I love you'. It was such a confusing situation to be in at 15. I was hurting - I know what he's doing is wrong but at the same time you've got this older man crying in front of you."

Holly said every aspect of her life has been affected by her experience in care

While at St Katharine's, Holly kept a diary - which led to Collins' suspension after it was found and read by two girls in the unit.

Police interviewed her about its contents, but she said she told officers the "sedate" version of what had happened because of how staff had reacted.

She said: "I couldn't go anywhere without two staff - they didn't want the possibility of anything else being said. I had a female care worker who said to me lies like that can destroy people's lives."

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It took about 10 years before Collins received a criminal conviction for indecent behaviour towards not only Holly, but three other young people in his care. He had raped one girl over the course of a year.

A police cold case review found evidence he had attacked young people at residential units in Edinburgh over 11 years, with Holly's diary forming a key piece of evidence.

In 2016, Collins was sentenced to 10 years in prison.

The following year, a serious case review said that Collins "could and should" have been dismissed early in his career.

It pointed to problems across the whole care system - including professionals being "insufficiently inquisitive" about victims' distress, and care staff believing that victims were "attention seeking".

'Decades of broken children'

Now 31 and living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), Holly says her life has been "bulldozed" by her time in care.

"I get daily flashbacks, I don't sleep like a normal person sleeps and I've got overwhelming agoraphobia," she said. "One of the most distressing parts is people's faces morph into him - even though I know he's in prison, if someone looks like him I think it is him."

Holly says the findings of a recent investigation, which found "illegality" in Edinburgh's secure units following alleged physical and mental abuse of young people, suggest that the same problems still exist.

She said: "My biggest fear is there's a 15-year-old going through the same stuff I went through, then the same thing happening in 10 years time.

"How many decades of broken children is the system going to create? I'm not the first, it just keeps going. Why has nothing changed?"

In response to last week's secure unit report, City of Edinburgh Council said: "We want to apologise to the young people affected by this and praise those who contributed to the investigation.

"Their testimonies helped to inform the findings and recommendations, which are now being taken forward as part of a robust and detailed action plan.

"Significant changes are already in place and we are confident children and young people are now safer and better supported."