'My first memory is sexual abuse from my dad'
- Published
Nikki waived her anonymity to urge victims of sexual abuse to speak out
A woman who was repeatedly raped by her father when she was a child has spoken out after he was jailed for four years.
Nikki Houston, of Aberdeen, told BBC Scotland News that her first memory was of the sexual abuse, which began when she was just four years old.
She said she had decided to waive her anonymity to show other victims they are not alone.
But she said she was disappointed at the length of the sentence handed to him at the High Court in Edinburgh.
"I am disgusted, this is not justice," she said.
Duncan Houston, 59, was previously jailed for nine years for raping his daughter at Hogmanay party in 2000, when she was 10, external.
Last month a jury unanimously found him guilty of raping her on several occasions between 1994 and 2002.
Sentencing him to four years, external on Wednesday, Lady Drummond said it reflected the extra jail time he would have received if the offences had come to light in his original trial.
She said he continued not to take responsibility for all his actions.
Defence counsel Frances Connor had argued that Houston had been successfully rehabilitated during his previous prison sentence and no longer posed a risk.
'Absolute evil'
Ms Houston, who is now 33, said she could remember "every single detail" of the first assault.
"Down to the smell. Every detail. It is genuinely 100% my first ever memory," she added. "The smell, the mix of stale lager, tobacco, aftershaves.
"But most of all, I'll never forget how he cried afterwards. It's the strangest thing. It destroyed my childhood."
Houston is a former soldier who served in the Falklands
She described her father, a former soldier, as "very charming" to the outside world.
"He was very cruel for no reason," the mother-of-four added. "I can't even explain the kind of man he was behind closed doors. He was completely opposite to what he showed everyone else."
Ms Houston said he cried, felt bad and said sorry after the abuse happened but she added: "I'll never understand the absolute evil of him".
At six years old, she was cooking for them both and cleaning the house.
"If I didn't I'd get a hiding or I'd get pushed down the stairs. He was just evil, absolute evil," she said.
'I thought it was part of growing up'
Ms Houston added: "To be honest way back then I think the only happy memories from when I was, say before double digits, would be every Wednesday, and that's when I would go to my grandma and grandad's for supper.
"I just remember laughing and dancing with my grandma and grandad and clinging on to that kept me going."
She said that to her friends, she appeared to be a happy, normal girl.
"I think kids are extremely resilient and as a kid I was able to push down a lot of the feelings I didn't understand.
"I would come across to my friends as the happy kid and things but you don't know what goes on behind closed doors do you? It makes you think."
As a child, she said she thought that her experience at the hands of her father was normal and it never crossed her mind to report him.
"I knew it scared me, but I just thought it was part of growing up," she added.
"As I got older I think I started to resent him but I was terrified of him, I thought he would kill me. And it was something that he never spoke about and I never spoke about but we both knew about. And I think that made it worse. The not talking about it made it worse.
"I think as a kid it didn't affect me so much. As an adult, it's broken me. And that's part of the reason I'm doing this."
'Tell someone'
She said it was important that children going through similar experiences get the help they need to ensure they can cope as an adult.
She said speaking to the police was "surprisingly not" scary.
"I literally just made a phone call to 101, told them the circumstance, they made an appointment for the next day.
"I was welcomed in, I was made to feel comfortable, I gave them my statement and then that was it. That was pretty much all I had to do until I got in to court.
"It was a long process but I think I didn't mind waiting as long because I knew it was coming it was finally coming and I'd waited over 20 years anyway."
A jury took less than an hour to find him guilty of rape and lewd, indecent and libidinous practices following a trial at the High Court in Aberdeen last month.
'Cruel and predatory'
Ms Houston said she was pleased with the verdict.
Det Insp Ryan Morris of Police Scotland commended her courage through the police investigation and subsequent legal process.
"Our investigation revealed Duncan Houston to be a cruel and predatory individual, who took advantage of a child for his own ends over an extended period of time," he added.
The Judicial Office for Scotland said in a statement: "In deciding upon a sentence, a judge will carefully consider the facts presented to the court both by the defence and by the prosecution, any relevant sentencing guidelines and a range of other matters relating to the detailed facts and circumstances of a particular case."
Ms Houston concluded: "It's a powerful feeling taking your power back. It's freeing. And it takes a lot of that weight off the chest. A lot of that anger a lot of that feeling of injustice.
"It's my way of holding the hands of other victims to show them that you're not alone.
"Tell someone. Anyone. A stranger in the street. I find a stranger might be even better. First person you can, just say it out loud. And take it from there. Even write it down, hand somebody a note. Anything, leave hints, anything at all. As soon as you've done it, the weight will lift. It really will.
"I can't wait to see what the future has got at last. I've never seen a future before I'll be honest, I'm really excited now, finally."
If you have been affected by issues raised in this article you can visit the BBC's Action Line pages, or contact Samaritans, external.