'I've eaten the same breakfast for the last 22 years'

Veteran hotel inspector "John" works undercover at venues across Scotland

John knows more than most people about what a full Scottish breakfast should taste like. He estimates he's eaten about 3,000 of them over the past 22 years.

But it hasn't been by choice - it's a necessary part of his job as an undercover hotel inspector for the AA.

John (not his real name) spends his working life rating hotels, B&Bs, restaurants with rooms, and even camping and caravan sites. From his home in Bonnyrigg, Midlothian, he travels across the length and breadth of Scotland, conducting nearly 150 overnight inspections a year.

One essential element of his work is assessing the quality of an establishment's food.

But it's a task that can sometimes be hard to swallow.

"A good deal of an inspector's job is benchmarking against other hotels, other foods and other breakfasts, so as a result I have been eating the same breakfast for the last 22 years," he says. "There is no getting away with just having toast. The hardest part of the job is having to eat when you are not hungry."

The full Scottish breakfast

The Scottish version of a "full English" often includes bacon, sausage, fried egg, baked beans, fried tomato and mushrooms. Then there's black pudding, "tattie" (potato) scone and haggis. Another stalwart of the dish is Lorne sausage (also known as square sausage) - minced pork and beef pressed into a flat shape and fried. Some restaurants will also serve breakfast with fruit pudding, a mix of flour, rusk, oatmeal and fruit.

Unlike TV's famous hotel inspector Alex Polizzi, who works under the glare of camera lights, John has to stay under the radar until he's ready to check out. He goes to great lengths to keep his real identity a secret from proprietors until then, especially if it's a place he's previously visited.

"I use different names each year, a different email address and home address so they can't pick me up via their guest history on the reservations system," he says.

However, despite his best efforts, some savvy hotel owners suspect who he is when he walks into reception. That's largely because they've already joined the AA inspection scheme - although they have no say in how many stars, if any, they will get, and don't know when a visit will take place.

Their suspicions can lead to Basil Fawlty-style errors, like those in the classic Fawlty Towers episode The Hotel Inspectors.

Basil fawns over a guest he thinks is an inspector in the classic comedy Fawlty Towers

The most common mistake they make, John says, is being too attentive to the guest that they feel could be an inspector.

"During one meal, I was asked on 28 occasions if everything was satisfactory with my meal. "In doing so, they were not paying attention to the other guests in the dining room at the same time as me. When it became apparent that they knew who I was, I stopped judging the hotel on what they did for me and started to benchmark them on what they were doing for the other guests around me - which was not very much."

In reaching a rating for a hotel - which can be anything from one to five stars - John says its surroundings are less important than other considerations.

"Cleanliness is key," he explains. "The expectation for cleanliness is the same of a bed and breakfast as it would be for a five-star luxury hotel. "Hospitality again is very important - the staff, team or owners socially engaging with the guest. It's not service-related - offering you tea or coffee, for example - but asking 'how was your day, what are your plans, how about this weather?'."

He gets mixed reactions from hotel owners when he reveals his identity.

"One general manager in Inverness this year was so happy with the feedback I gave him and the resulting increase in their star rating that he broke down in tears when I gave him the great news. "The flip side is when you have to take a rating or an award away. That is less than well received."

John says he has had memorable experiences during his time as an inspector.

John visits about 150 Scottish hotels and other establishments each year

He recalls having dinner at a farmhouse in Stirlingshire during the lambing season, when the owner asked if he would like to see a sheep giving birth.

"I thought it was a throwaway comment and agreed. At 03:00, I got a knock on my door and was told there were some sheep about to give birth, so I should put on the wellies which he'd left at the entrance. I thought 'what the hell' and quickly got dressed and spent the next hour watching lambs being born.

"As a city slicker, this was the first and only time I have seen this."

John, who was a hotel general manager before joining the AA, works most of the time on his own but doesn't always have a premises to himself.

"I once sat at the same table as another single male whilst having dinner in a guest house. It turned out he was also a hotel inspector, which we only found out the next day when we both came to check out at the same time."

He loves his job, particularly when it comes to giving helpful feedback to hotel owners. But he says that people may have misconceptions over the nature of his work.

"When you tell people what you do for a living, the automatic reaction you get back is 'Wow - how great' and 'How lucky you are to have this job'. I have to admit that there are worse jobs out there that I could be doing.

"But, like any other job, when you scratch below the surface it is not always the glitz and glamour that people think it would be. On the plus side, I get to stay in some of the very best hotels in the country and eat some of the very best food cooked by the country's most talented chefs."

There are times when John yearns for a burger

But John admits that he yearns at times for "simple comfort food, not anything rich or elaborate".

"When inspecting, we choose dishes which will allow the chef to showcase their team's technical skills while using the most wonderful seasonal produce. Sometimes all I really want is a burger or plain grilled chicken."

Given the amount of food John has to eat on his work days, he's been working on getting fitter. He was helped in his goal by the Coronavirus pandemic, when the hotel industry was hit by lockdowns and the AA inspectorate was furloughed.

"I used the time to work on my fitness and as a result lost over four-and-a-half stone by walking every day. I am still walking each day but now have to get up at 05:00 to do a 15km walk before breakfast and checking out. As a result, I continue to lose a bit of weight - although since I am now back to eating in all the hotels and restaurants, this is at a slower rate."