Sipping tea and quaffing champagne

There is a splendid comedy sketch which those of a certain vintage will recall. Billed as the Four Yorkshiremen, it is generally attributed to Monty Python although I think its origin is slightly older.

Anyway, it depicts four chaps sitting around in apparent affluence and contentment while competing with each other to depict the soul-building penury of their younger days.

You remember the sort of thing.....

"We used to get our water from a rusty bucket at the back door." "You had a door?? Luxury! We lived on a dung-heap and took what liquid we could from sucking on an old rag." "A rag? We used to dream of rags."

Anyway, the satirical double act that is Alex Salmond and Johann Lamont offered a reprise of the famous sketch today as they competed with each to flee from the seeming temptations of political life.

Ms Lamont started it by painting a verbal picture of Mr Salmond hobnobbing with the rich and powerful. To wit, one Rupert Murdoch who paid a visit to the FM at his Edinburgh residence, Bute House, only yesterday.

In response, Mr Salmond read out the guest list from the News International bash in London which had seemingly included the PM plus the Eds, Miliband and Balls.

They had, said Mr Salmond, been quaffing champagne and oysters. Luxury! In Bute House, he said, you make do with a cup of tea and a Tunnocks caramel wafer.

I know, I know, I am making it all sound somewhat pedestrian and derivative. But, in truth, the exchanges were rather sharp and certainly appeared to stir the backbenches on either side.

My only slight quibble would be as to whether this is the sort of issue to attract interest in the towns and cities of Scotland by contrast with the topic of jobs which has been Ms Lamont's staple of recent weeks.

Referendum date

But then one must have variety - and there was also a substantive Labour complaint here which was to the effect that Team Salmond had briefed the new Sunday Sun in Scotland re the putative date for the referendum.

This, Ms Lamont averred, went against the spirit and the letter of the consultation exercise launched by Mr Salmond and still open to public participation.

Noting in passing that he had yet to receive submitted words of wisdom from the Scottish Labour Party, Mr Salmond insisted that the consultation was indeed still alive - and that the date mentioned by the Sun (Saturday 18 October, 2014) was but one option.

Cue further satire from Ms Lamont which, again, delighted the backbenches. Cue a stern reprimand from Mr Salmond who said that Labour had assiduously courted News International, only cooling somewhat when Mr Murdoch changed his political affections back to the Tories.

After exchanging sundry words with other MSPs, Ms Lamont headed off in search of a dry, broken biscuit and Mr Salmond sought refreshment in a (borrowed) cup of tepid tea.