Stammer: Former Wales rugby player 'hated' himself
- Published
A former Wales and Great Britain rugby international has said his violent behaviour as a player was down to his struggles with a stammer.
Mark Jones played rugby union for Wales 15 times and made one appearance for Great Britain in rugby league during the 1980s and 1990s.
Jones features in BBC One documentary, I Can't Say My Name, where he discusses his reputation as a "dirty player".
He said his anger was rooted in his own "self-loathing" due to his stammer.
"The style of play I had was driven from the stammer," the number eight told BBC journalist Felicity Baker, who also has a stammer and usually works behind the camera.
"At home in Wales I was looked at as a bit of a header - a bit of a clown. But the stammer influenced your behaviour.
"It makes you a bit of an outcast in your own head. And it is in your own head. It's as if your head is in a fish tank."
Jones had an ugly disciplinary record as a player and admitted he had a "problem", external soon after he punched Ian Gough in 1998, and left him needing surgery on his eye socket.
Opening up to Ms Baker, Jones said the anger seemed to stem from a fear of being humiliated and that being violent "was just that release".
"The frustration that you would be laughed at," he explained.
"I hated myself. I hated myself because I wasn't like other people. The embarrassment you feel - it's a constant fight."
Wales rugby star Liam Williams has previously spoken about his struggles with a stammer.
Watch I Can't Say My Name: Stammer in the Spotlight on BBC iPlayer
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