Suicide: Bereaved families in Wales plead for more support

"I will never forget 7 January 2020, when the police came to the door to tell me that Caio, my son, had died by suicide," said Rhian Wyn.

"When the officer left, there was no mention of any support," she said.

Rhian and other families are calling for a support service for parents who have been bereaved by suicide. The Scottish government is funding a similar pilot scheme to help families over the next two years.

"We really need a support scheme similar to Scotland," said Rhian, from Pontrhydfendigaid, in Ceredigion.

The Welsh government has said it plans to publish new guidelines for the delivery of bereavement care, which should improve support for those bereaved by suicide.

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"I will never forget that young policeman coming to the house around 21:30, informing me that Caio had died in Cardiff," Rhian told BBC Cymru Fyw.

"I'm a single mother and was living with our young daughters. It was a terrifying experience, I was screaming on the floor while the girls were sitting on the stairs.

"Soon the policeman had to leave and that was it.

"Then the police in Cardiff rang me during the early hours with a tick list.

"I had to answer numerous questions - did Caio have epilepsy, did he have this, did he have that? I was completely traumatised and so lonely."

She added: "We need constant support. You don't recover from losing a child. It's on my mind all day, every day."

'It was paralysing'

Phoebe Williams, from Aberystwyth, was 24 when she died in 2019

Amanda and Geraint Williams, from Aberystwyth, had a similar experience after their daughter Phoebe died in May 2019.

"This is really telling it as it is, the stark reality of a loss by suicide. The only people we saw were the two policemen who knocked on the door at 02:00 who told us Phoebe had died the way she had. They stayed for no longer than 15 minutes," Amanda recalled.

"At that moment we were rendered incapable of any competent action or rational thought, it was paralysing. And then that was it, they left. We saw nobody else at all and haven't since. We weren't even asked to give statements to the police.

"Thankfully we had each other."

Amanda added: "Those who have been bereaved by suicide become an at-risk group and need specialist practical support, not just in the immediate aftermath but in the many months after."

'Absolutely terrifying'

Siân Angharad Retter with her brother Steffan, who died in 2018

Getting support is vital, according to Siân Angharad Retter, from Tremain, near Cardigan.

Her brother Steffan, 26, took his own life in November 2018.

"It was an absolutely terrifying experience for me and my parents and it is so important to get support," she said.

"Soon afterwards, I and two others who had lost loved ones in similar circumstances formed the west Wales branch of LISS [Living in Suicide's Shadow].

"We are a group where everyone understands the pain of losing close relatives by suicide - the group gives us the opportunity to go out together and talk about experiences.

"Without support the whole process can be an extremely lonely experience."

The 2 Wish Upon a Star charity was founded in 2012 by Rhian Mannings following the sudden and unexpected death of her son George. Days later her husband Paul, 33, killed himself.

The charity has supported many families who have lost loved ones under the age of 25 - many of them by suicide.

In 2019, Ms Mannings petitioned the Welsh government to provide better support for families who unexpectedly lose their child or young adult.

Bereavement support grant

A Welsh government spokesperson said: "The loss of someone by suicide is tragic and individuals bereaved by suicide may have particularly complex feelings.

"We will shortly be publishing our national framework for the delivery of bereavement care in Wales.

"This will be supported by a £1m bereavement support grant, which will be available to third sector bereavement providers.

"As part of this work, the National Suicide Prevention Co-ordinator for Wales is also working with key agencies to develop specific guidance to improve the response and support for people bereaved by suicide."

Dyfed-Powys Police has been asked to comment. South Wales Police said a number of questions have to be asked after a sudden death.

More information on organisations that can offer support is available at BBC Action Line