Civil partnership: Call for same sex affairs to be grounds for split

6 October 2021

Woman — Image caption,
Amy, not her real name, described the end of her relationship as "devastating"

By Kate Morgan

BBC Wales News

There are calls for same sex affairs to be recognised as adultery when couples split.

A woman from Cardiff said she was "perplexed" that infidelity was not a ground for ending her civil partnership as it was with a marriage divorce.

Equality should apply in "every aspect of the legal system", she said.

The Ministry of Justice said a new no-fault Divorce Bill, external coming into effect in April will spare all couples "the blame-game".

Mother-of-two Amy, not her real name, described the end of her relationship as "devastating".

Believing her wife was having an affair, she said her own behaviour changed as she repeatedly checked location apps in the hope of catching her out.

"It's all so cliché," she said.

"All of a sudden she had to have her phone with her the whole time, taking it into the bathroom with her… it was more evening meetings, weekends away... and then, absolute classic, that this name kept coming up in conversation all the time."

Amy told BBC Wales Live she had no idea that the legal definition of adultery only recognised sexual intercourse between two people of the opposite sex.

"Why is there what seems to be clear discrimination?" she said.

"It's all fine for same sex people to have marriage, but we're not allowed to divorce on the ground of adultery."

She added that one divorce lawyer told her it was completely unfair but that it was the way the system worked.

Instead, Amy had to apply to end the relationship on the grounds of "unreasonable behaviour", a process she found incredibly difficult.

"I can't help but wonder if I would have handled things differently if I had known that I could never have used adultery anyway," she said.

Amy now wants to see the same progress on marriage equality in recent years in divorce law reforms.

How do you end a civil partnership?

Getty Images

Infidelity is a grounds for divorce but not for ending a civil partnership

To end a civil partnership in England and Wales an individual will need to prove the relationship has broken down and cannot be saved, citing one of four reasons.

They are unreasonable behaviour, desertion, separation for two years if both parties agree to end it, and separation for five years if one disagrees.

For divorce, those grounds also apply but adultery is also available as a reason.

Family lawyer Elizabeth Saxby said the legal definition of adultery was from 1973 and "probably isn't fit for purpose any more".

"We have given the option of civil partnership to everybody, and everybody can now marry no matter the make-up of the couple, so it does sound a little off that the options on divorce and separation haven't been updated," she said.

The solicitor, who has been practising for 16 years, added that changing the law can be an incredibly slow process and efforts had been focused on moving towards a no-fault divorce instead.

"The research all points to it being kinder for families to have a no-fault option," she said.

"So, rather than trying to amend the older laws and the laws surrounding adultery, they have concentrated on making it kinder for families."

She said she understood the frustrations of same-sex couples and hoped the changes next Spring would benefit everyone.

What does the Ministry of Justice say?

The Ministry of Justice said the new Divorce Bill would spare separating couples the need to apportion blame.

Instead, a spouse or a couple will be able to apply for a divorce by making a statement of irretrievable breakdown.

"By sparing them the need to play the blame game, we are removing the antagonism that this creates so families can better move on with their lives", a spokesperson said.

You can see more on this story on BBC Wales Live, BBC One Wales at 10.30 BST on Wednesday