Wrexham woman who had son after rape welcomes law change

Jessica - not her real name - says she was terrified of breaking his son's heart by telling him the truth

A woman who had a son after being raped has welcomed a change in the law to recognise children conceived through sexual attacks as victims.

Jessica - which is not her real name - was 21 when she was raped by a man who had previously been her friend.

Now 27 years on, her son will soon also be acknowledged as a victim of rape.

She said that while she had help to heal from the attack, her son did not, and he suffered as a result.

"I think if he'd had help from the beginning and been shown how to process things, I think it would have been a lot easier for him," said Jessica, who lives in Wrexham.

The legal changes in Wales and England will entitle those conceived as a result of rape access to information about their case.

It will also make it easier for victims to receive support from police and the criminal justice system.

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'Daisy's Law', as it has been coined, was brought about following a campaign by the Centre for Women's Justice.

Its director, Harriet Wistrich, said the impact on the wellbeing of children conceived through rape can last a lifetime.

"If you are raised by a mother who may have difficulty attaching to you because of the circumstances of your birth, if you have knowledge that your genetic father was a rapist, that can cause issues around identification", she said.

"It can be stigmatising when people talk about your parents and that's what you know about them.

"Psychologically it can be incredibly damaging and have very adverse social consequences when growing up."

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'Daisy', whom the law has been unofficially named after, was herself born after her mother was raped when she was 13.

She had sought to have her birth father prosecuted, but was told she had no legal status to pursue it.

Ms Wistrich said she was hopeful the new law would lead to an increase in rape prosecutions.

"Rape as we know is an incredibly difficult crime to prosecute and this is something that is a very solid piece of evidence.

"The evidence is incontrovertible if you have DNA to show the link between the father and the child, so therefore it creates a really important piece of evidence in those cases of historic rape."

Jessica grew up in a devoutly religious family. She struggled with depression and, as a result, spent time in a psychiatric hospital.

'Living nightmare'

On the ward she became friends with a man who would go on to rape her in her home years later.

"We became friends," said Jessica, who tells her story in Out of the Shadows: Born from Rape on BBC iPlayer.

"He was homeless and living on the street. I let him spend the night on the settee.

"I thought I was helping a friend out and it didn't work out that way."

When Jessica discovered she was pregnant, she said she knew she would keep the baby. An abortion would have been against her family's religious beliefs.

When Jessica's son was born, she struggled to bond with him because "he looked very much like his dad".

"It wasn't his fault but I couldn't get my head around things, really."

She felt she was not good enough to be his mother and even begged her family to adopt him.

"It was quite a traumatic birth. I was in labour for over two days. I got really depressed.

'Terrified of breaking his heart'

"I had post-natal depression and was taken into hospital with my baby. My depression just got worse."

As Jessica's son grew up, she decided she didn't want to tell him how he was conceived. She was afraid he would hate her.

"I was terrified of breaking his heart," she said.

But when her son turned 16, his grandmother sat him down to explain that he was the result of a rape.

"It really upset him. I think he'd always hoped that one day he'd meet his dad.

"For about a week or so, he didn't want to come home and he didn't want to be with me. He was very angry for quite a long time about it all."

Gradually, Jessica's relationship with her son healed and she describes him today as her "best mate". She credits support from charities with helping the process.

"Now, we've bonded. We've got a good relationship but it took me a long time for me to feel like a mum."

He decided he wanted to find his father so together they tracked him down. The father was never convicted of rape, and he had already died.

Even though the process was "traumatic" for Jessica, she wanted to support her son's desire to know the truth.

She welcomed the change in the law, and said that more support for the children is needed.

If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this story, support and advice is available via the BBC Action Line.

Out of the Shadows: Born from Rape is on BBC iPlayer