Comedian's bid to bust myths about being bisexual
- Published
Morgan Rees was on a first date with a woman he had met online and all was going well - that is until he mentioned he was bisexual.
"She went 'What! What? You lied to me' and just threw her drink over me," he recalls.
Although this is one of the most memorable reactions he has had to his sexuality, he says bisexual people are too often labelled as greedy, promiscuous or untrustworthy.
Morgan says he has been "gaslit" by both straight female and gay male partners who had wrongly suggested he was "kidding himself".
Morgan, 30, who grew up in Merthyr Tydfil in south Wales and now lives in London, explains he can find people of all genders attractive - men, women and people who are trans or non-binary - and identifies himself as bisexual and queer.
"I just find people so lush," he says.
He says he first came out as bisexual aged 22 after growing up "filled to the brim with internalised homophobia".
Since then he has become aware of stigma around being bisexual - some of which he thinks is unconscious.
'Bi-erasure'
"If I'm in a same-sex relationship, people will just refer to me as gay," he explains.
"Now, obviously, there's nothing wrong with being referred to as gay but I'm not gay, I'm bisexual. It's that bi-erasure... don't just dismiss it, I haven't changed, I'm still bisexual."
He says he had experienced misassumptions from both straight and LGBTQ+ people.
"You get straight people going 'oh, you're just kidding yourself' and a lot of queer people going 'you're just kidding yourself," he adds.
He says he has had brilliant experiences dating women, but others have "seen it as this massive betrayal".
Morgan, who co-hosts podcast Chatting With Cherubs, explains part of the reason he talks about his sexuality to "predominantly straight people at comedy clubs" is because he wants to increase bisexual visibility and be an example for others.
"I try and make queer comedy for everybody," he says.
His sexuality is a subject he intends to keep exploring on his first UK tour, Turning Thirsty, in May and June next year, where he will raise money for different LGBTQ+ charities at each gig.
"I love being attracted to people's spirits, people's energies, people's kindness and don't get me wrong, people's looks," he admits.
But Morgan says he has sometimes been made to feel that his sexuality makes him inherently "filthy" and "promiscuous".
He shares that one time a male partner he had was told 'you've got be careful because they're attracted to everyone, there's a lot of competition'.
"There's this inherent assumption that you can't be trusted," he says.
"Just because I'm bisexual and I can find attraction in all genders and all sexes I must be deemed untrustworthy... there's this assumption or expectation that you must be on the hunt for it constantly like you've got this craving. It's a heavy hit."
"The world is full of so many phenomenal people and I'm so grateful that I can find so many of them attractive."
He says while others have seen bisexuality as "a lily pad" - part of the journey to eventually coming out as gay - this was not the case for him.
"Bisexuality is not a stepping stone for me, it's my final destination."
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