'When I woke up in intensive care I was scared'

Ronan Clarke was an All-Ireland winner with Armagh as a teenager

Armagh 2002 All-Ireland winner Ronan Clarke has spoken of the fear he felt after waking up in intensive care five days after suffering the head injury which precipitated the end of his gaelic football playing days.

In August 2015 Clarke hit his head against a post during a club championship game at the Athletic Grounds but it was only later that day when the damage caused during the incident manifested itself.

"I was walking along when I felt sick, stumbled a bit, sat down on the bench, and the next minute I was on the ground and trying to get up," Clarke told the BBC's The GAA Social podcast.

"I rang my brother and he got me off the pavement, got me to the house and then my dad came up.

"They said ‘come on Ronan we have to take you' [to hospital] and then five days later I woke up in intensive care. When I first woke up I was scared."

'I developed epilepsy'

Clarke's traumatic experience continued in the days and weeks thereafter.

"My driving licence was taken off me, I developed epilepsy and had to get medication for that," the Pearse Og man explained.

"I remember the physio getting me up out of the bed and walking and that pain and sweat and her saying, 'I’m going to let you go' but I was holding onto her for dear life like a toddler, saying ‘don’t let me go’."

Clarke's recovery reached the point where he was discharged from hospital but a promise made to his mother led to him hanging up his boots.

"My mother said, 'you're not going back to playing football are you?'. I said I might give it another rattle but she says' 'over my dead body you're not, that's it, you're done and dusted Ronan'.

"She asked me to make that promise and I never looked back."

'Self doubt caused underachievement'

Clarke helped Armagh to their sole Sam Maguire success at just 19 years of age in his first season as part of the county panel and was named Young Player of the Year.

"I felt good in myself and said 'I’ll go out and give this a rattle'. We were oozing confidence, we were playing well and I never doubted that we were going to win. There was a great mix in that team," reflected Clarke.

"We had some great days but to me it was always about the team, individual awards didn’t motivate me.”

Clarke believes a series of injuries, including cruciate problems, and "self doubt" were factors in him underachieving in the context of his overall career.

"You had such a good year [in 2002], you wonder, 'can I hit those heights again?'. In '03 I struggled a lot, in '04 I had a good run, then the cruciate.

"I’m very grateful for the friendships I made through football but I underachieved as I didn’t have that much confidence in myself. Always had that lingering thought, you always self-doubted yourself."

Clarke in action against Kerry's Seamus Moynihan in the 2002 All-Ireland final

'You go to dark places'

Clarke has used the difficult circumstances he has experienced to influence him as he now studies at Magee College to become a social worker.

"If you look through your own life and the traumas you went through yourself there is always someone to help you. I just want to be a professional and go out and help people.

"In my playing days you went through a lot, some tough days, especially the injuries. I went through a period of lying in the house with my leg up, no-one calling at the door. You go to dark places and I suffered from depression, but good people came round you.

"That professional environment you are in and then it’s taken away from you, you’re told you need to go under the knife and you think that’s you finished. You have to get yourself motivated."

Clarke will be among tens of thousands of Armagh fans at Croke Park on Sunday as his native county attempt to become All-Ireland champions for the second time and he reckons Kieran McGeeney's team will come out on top against Galway.

"I think they are very evenly matched teams and it depends on the day," he said.

"Armagh will be coming up against a forward line they think they know. The Kerry game played a bit into Armagh’s hands I think. [Damien] Comer is going to get a bit fitter, [Shane] Walsh, his movement off the ball, and he’s a totally different type of player than Clifford. What a player Clifford is but Walshe is completely different.

"He’s very evasive, gets on the end of balls, he takes people into the game, doesn’t try to do it all himself.”