German Bundesliga is back: Which team should you support?

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Borussia Monchengladbach, Bayern Munich, Borussia Dortmund, Hertha Berlin, Werder Bremen, SchalkeImage source, Getty Images

With the Premier League suspended and the Bundesliga returning this weekend, there is one obvious question for UK football fans - 'who should I support?'.

Whether you are more likely to be swayed by kit colour, British players, the club's history or even more trivial matters, we've taken a look at all the clubs to help you make your choice.

Bundesliga top six
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The top four places earn a Champions League spot, with fifth and sixth going into the Europa League

Bayern Munich

Bayern MunichImage source, Getty Images
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Arsenal fans may have enjoyed watching Bayern Munich this season with 13 goals in three matches against Tottenham and Chelsea

The biggest and most successful team in Germany by some way, Bayern Munich are going for their eighth title in a row. They dominate financially and often scoop up the best talent from rival teams. Put it this way, you either support them or you don't - they are nobody's 'second team'.

If they were an English team: Manchester United in the Sir Alex Ferguson era (because they win nearly everything)

Why should you support Bayern? Glory hunting

Why shouldn't you support Bayern? Come on, don't just pick the best team

Chances of winning title

84% - Bayern Munich

1% - Borussia Monchengladbach

8% - Borussia Dortmund

Less than 1% - Bayer Leverkusen

7% - RB Leipzig

0% - everyone else

Statistics from Gracenote

Borussia Dortmund

Jadon Sancho and Erling HaalandImage source, Getty Images
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With Jadon Sancho and Erling Braut Haaland, Borussia Dortmund fans can enjoy a lot of goals in the final nine games

Borussia Dortmund are an appealing choice. They have some of the most vocal and exuberant fans anywhere in the world (not that they'll be at the games) as well as a team full of exciting young talented players like Jadon Sancho and Erling Braut Haaland. But beware - they are far too good to be a hipster's choice.

If they were an English team: Liverpool (Jurgen Klopp, You'll Never Walk Alone)

Why should you support Dortmund? Lots of Britons follow them already, they are excellent to watch, Sancho

Why shouldn't you support Dortmund? Lots of Britons follow them already - this is not an original choice

RB Leipzig

RB LeipzigImage source, Getty Images
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RB Leipzig hammered Tottenham 4-0 in the Champions League last 16 over two legs

Hmm. RB Leipzig were only formed 11 years ago by Red Bull and have stormed their way up through the leagues. But they have built an excellent team without a huge budget (by elite standards) and have two British players - Ethan Ampadu and Ademola Lookman.

If they were an English team: MK Dons

Why should you support Leipzig? You love Red Bull, they have two British players, they are easy on the eye

Why shouldn't you support Leipzig? Everything else about them

Borussia Monchengladbach

Borussia MonchengladbachImage source, Getty Images
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If you're going to pick a team for their kit, you could do worse than Borussia Monchengladbach

Borussia Monchengladbach were huge in the 1970s - winning five Bundesliga titles, two Uefa Cups and reaching a European Cup final. They have never done any of those things before or after the 70s. They are also active and "fun" on social media and are currently allowing fans to pay €19 to have a cardboard cutout of themselves in the stands.

If they were an English team: Nottingham Forest

Why should you support Gladbach? You like social media banter, you can go to their games (as a cardboard cutout), you wish it was still the 1970s

Why shouldn't you support Gladbach? You hate social media banter, they have not won anything since the 1995 German Cup

Bayer Leverkusen

Bayer LeverkusenImage source, Getty Images
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Bayer Leverkusen's last game was a 3-1 win at Rangers in the Europa League. Some food for thought for Celtic fans looking for a German team?

One of the few German teams owned by a company, Leverkusen were set up by pharmaceutical giants Bayer in 1904. They are the nearly men of German football - finishing second in the Bundesliga five times and losing a Champions League final without having won either of those trophies.

If they were an English team: Newcastle United (have come close to winning things in the past 25 years without succeeding)

Why should you support Leverkusen? Owners Bayer are playing a part in the fight against coronavirus, you like glorious failure, they have exciting players like Kai Havertz

Why shouldn't you support Leverkusen? They are owned by a pharmaceutical company, they are likely to break your heart by missing out on the title, they have more red cards than any team in Bundesliga history (136)

Schalke

David WagnerImage source, Getty Images
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David Wagner - the man who took Huddersfield to the Premier League - is Schalke's head coach

Schalke - managed by ex-Huddersfield boss David Wagner - have two British players - first-choice right-back Jonjoe Kenny (on loan from Everton) and Wales international Rabbi Matondo. They are the third-most popular team in Germany but have never won the Bundesliga since its formation in 1963.

If they were an English team: Everton (they play in blue, have Kenny and are rivals to Borussia Dortmund, who we compared to Liverpool earlier)

Why should you support Schalke? They have two British players, they have a big fanbase, you support Huddersfield

Why shouldn't you support Schalke? You like goals. Their 33 goals is one of the lowest totals in the league and only two teams have taken fewer shots

Bundesliga middle six

Wolfsburg

WolfsburgImage source, Getty Images
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Proper Xbox vibes from this Wolfsburg jersey

The city of Wolfsburg was only formed to house Volkswagen workers in 1938 (initially under a different name). The team were set up for Volkswagen workers in 1945. They are owned by Volkswagen and play at the Volkswagen Arena. Spot a theme?

If they were an English team: Wolves (just look at the name)

Why should you support Wolfsburg? You support Wolves, you like Volkswagen cars, you think it's brilliant they once had a manager called Wolfgang Wolf

Why shouldn't you support Wolfsburg? You don't like Volkswagen cars, Wolves, wolves or Wolfgang Wolf

Freiburg

FreiburgImage source, Getty Images
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The most German-sounding sponsor ever

This one is going to be a tough sell. A bit of a yo-yo club with no real household names, but they are still in contention to reach the Europa League.

If they were an English team: Norwich (both teams have won the second tier four times)

Why should you support Freiburg? They are overachievers

Why shouldn't you support Freiburg? There isn't much to get excited about. Honestly they made me wonder why I was even writing this piece

Hoffenheim

Hoffenheim v Bayern MunichImage source, Getty Images
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Hoffenheim's most recent home game had a farcical ending where their players and Bayern Munich's passed the ball around for the final 13 minutes after the game was suspended because of Bayern fans chanting against Hoffenheim's owner

Hoffenheim are 120 years old but were a fifth division team until being bankrolled by Dietmar Hopp, rising to the Bundesliga this millennium. Bundesliga matches were frequently stopped as opposition fans protested against Hopp in the weeks before football was shut down.

If they were an English team: Bournemouth (for their rise through their divisions, not their unpopularity)

Why should you support Hoffenheim? They consider themselves a "friendly team who do things differently"

Why shouldn't you support Hoffenheim? Nobody else really likes them

Cologne

CologneImage source, Getty Images
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Are the Billy Goats the team for you?

The decision here has already been made for us. Sunderland have - for reasons I can't quite understand - teamed up with Cologne to make them their Bundesliga team., external Their goat mascot - Hennes IX - is not allowed at games in the coronavirus age.

If they were an English team: Sunderland

Why should you support Cologne? You support Sunderland, you like a set-piece goal (11 of their goals have come from corners)

Why shouldn't you support Cologne? You have a particular dislike of goats, you support Newcastle or Middlesbrough

Union Berlin

Union BerlinImage source, Getty Images
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We could have compared Union Berlin to Swindon Town (or Barnsley) because Swindon play in red and spent one season in the top flight but the author of this piece supports Oxford so... Sheffield United it is

Union Berlin, known for their colourful fan base, are in their first ever season in the Bundesliga. They probably have less on the line than anybody in the league - seven points off Europe and eight points above the relegation play-off spot. Not ideal if you're probably only going to support a team to the end of the season.

If they were an English team: Sheffield United (exceeding expectations after promotion)

Why should you support Union? You like the underdogs, you don't want your new team to cause you any stress

Why shouldn't you support Union? Because they're not likely to do anything this season

Eintracht Frankfurt

Eintracht FrankfurtImage source, Getty Images
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This simplistic Eintracht Frankfurt kit catch your eye? Feel free to give the Eagles your support

Eintracht Frankfurt have struggled this season after reaching the semi-finals of last year's Europa League and are not entirely safe from relegation yet. They have the same nickname as Crystal Palace, the Eagles.

If they were an English team: West Brom (five cup wins and one league title each)

Why should you support Eintracht? You like Eagles/support Crystal Palace, you are a fan of old Premier League players you vaguely remember (Jonathan de Guzman, Gelson Fernandes, Erik Durm)

Why shouldn't you support Eintracht? You support Palace's rivals Brighton, you don't get excited by Premier League journeymen

Bundesliga bottom six
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The bottom two teams get relegated, while the team which finishes 16th play the third-placed side in Bundesliga 2 in a play-off

Hertha Berlin

Hertha BerlinImage source, Getty Images
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Fair play, this is a nice kit/badge/sponsor combo

This is unfamiliar territory for Hertha, who are not even the top Berlin team in the division at the moment. Their former Premier League players include Salomon Kalou, Dedryck Boyata, Dodi Lukebakio (a solitary substitute appearance for Watford) and Marko Grujic.

If they were an English team: West Ham (they both play at the Olympic Stadium)

Why should you support Hertha? You are a Chelsea fan who loved Kalou (if such a person exists), you support a team with blue and white stripes, you have Alexander Esswein in your Fifa ultimate team

Why shouldn't you support Hertha? You get annoyed at your team conceding penalties - Hertha have given away seven, more than anyone else, according to data company Gracenote

Augsburg

AugsburgImage source, Getty Images
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Don't be sad mate, that's a great shirt

Augsburg are based in Bavaria, in the shadow of Bayern Munich. They have been in the top flight since 2011 having spent the rest of their history in the lower leagues. Reece Oxford is an Augsburg player, although he hasn't featured since November.

If they were an English team: Watford (a smaller team with bigger neighbours)

Why should you support Augsburg? You like quirky nicknames (Die Fuggerstadter is their nickname after a famous family from the region), Reece Oxford

Why shouldn't you support Augsburg? You're not sure what you're going to get. Heiko Herrlich has been head coach for two months but hasn't managed a game yet - and he won't be in charge this weekend either after violating quarantine by leaving the team's hotel

Mainz

MainzImage source, Getty Images
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The only non-home kit we are highlighting here. The design of Mainz's special carnival kit looks more like a rugby league shirt

Jurgen Klopp's other team, Mainz like to play carnival music after their goals because it is a carnival city. Have several ex-Premier League randoms, including former Sunderland forward Ji Dong-won.

If they were an English team: Brighton (neither side have ever won a major trophy)

Why should you support Mainz? You like carnival music, you like Klopp (but didn't want to support Dortmund)

Why shouldn't you support Mainz? They play carnival music after their goals...

Chances of automatic relegation (chances of being in play-offs in brackets)

97% - Paderborn (2%)

10% - Mainz (19%)

49% - Werder Bremen (26%)

2% - Augsburg (8%)

40% - Fortuna Dusseldorf (34%)

2% - Hertha Berlin (8%)

Statistics from Gracenote (all other teams less than 1% chance of automatic relegation)

Fortuna Dusseldorf

Fortuna DusseldorfImage source, Getty Images
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Fortuna Dusseldorf could have 11 games left if they go into the play-offs

A team for Manchester City fans of a certain age to keep an eye out for - Fortuna Dusseldorf's manager is ex-City striker Uwe Rosler. Plus they have City goalkeeper Zack Steffen on loan. Dusseldorf's season could go on a bit longer - they are currently in a promotion-relegation play-off place.

If they were an English team: Tottenham Hotspur (struggle for clean sheets and concede too many chances)

Why should you support Dusseldorf? You support Manchester City, you like Cool Runnings (defender Mathias Jorgensen's nickname is Zanka), you are Ghanaian (Dusseldorf have four players from Ghana)

Why shouldn't you support Dusseldorf? Jorgensen hasn't spelt Sanka correctly

Werder Bremen

Werder BremenImage source, Getty Images
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Simplistic kit from Werder Bremen. Not a patch on their old green and orange jersey

Werder Bremen have spent more seasons in the Bundesliga (56) than anyone else but that record could be coming to an end as they sit four points adrift of the promotion-relegation play-off spot. Claudio Pizarro is still going at the age of 41 - and has 10 games left before retirement to score a Bundesliga goal for a 22nd consecutive year.

If they were an English team: Aston Villa (a few league titles and a European trophy but now battling relegation)

Why should you support Bremen? You want a historic team to keep their top-flight position, you want to see Pizarro score 200 Bundesliga goals, Pierre Wome used to play for them (maybe that one is just me...)

Why shouldn't you support Bremen? With 11 defeats in their past 14 games, you might never see them actually win a game

Paderborn

PaderbornImage source, Getty Images
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You're just seeking misery if you pick Paderborn to support

Paderborn - in only their second Bundesliga season - are bottom of the table, six points behind the play-off place. With one point in their past six games, they look doomed. Don't do it to yourself.

If they were an English team: Huddersfield (two seasons and going down... presumably)

Why should you support Paderborn? You love lost causes

Why shouldn't you support Paderborn? Haven't you been through enough recently?